Saturday, March 26, 2011

Orchid Mania At The Cleveland Botanical Gardens

It's a good thing that we went to see all the gorgeous orchids today since it ends tomorrow! Oops! 
The place was packed and I apologise for the sweats wearing heathens in the first picture. Cleveland is not exactly known for being a fashion mecca.

A bunch more after the jump.

My Gay Old Day In Chinatown

You never know what you might see!
My box of jasmine tea-

It really was quite lovely and fun. KNOW THAT.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Fat Ho Burgers

This girl needs to start a franchise. Sign me up!

It's A Shirtless Post

This time I thought we'd go with soccer players since I'm stuck inside for what feels like the 100th weekend in a row. If it wasn't for Premier League Football and golf tournaments, I'd be drooling in my jammies watching the umpteenth Netflix movie that I never wanted to see when it came out in the first place.

I will provide names since I don't expect any of you to be as obsessed as I am. First up- the obligatory David Beckham.

Don't worry. It gets naked-er.

You Can't Change Who You Are

No matter what, Tiger will be Tiger, even in two dimensions..
From Reddit.

TGIF With Ray Gettin' Gibbled And Catchin' Sum Air!

LOLOLOL! I would like to thank Chemgal's neighbours for being such good sports!

Caption The Housewife, Brazilian Estafador Edition

Why does she look like she's wearing white gloves?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Let's Start The Weekend Early

That room had to smell of pot after 6 months!


So, I woke up this morning to discover that the snow fairy had come back for another visit! The ground is all sparkly and shiny like angel's wings and my pups scamper and frolic in it like Thumper and Bambi when they were in the throes of first love. It's just the cutest thing ever until you realize IT'S ALMOST APRIL AND YOU WANT TO KILL SOMEONE.


I Changed My Mind

Chemgal needs to get a special needs mini-pony.

All in favor, say AYE!

Caption The Housewife, The Constipated Smile Edition

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Napa Loves Me

How cute is my girl? She leans on my knee gazing adoringly at her Mama and telling me she will never eat me if I accidentally die while Mr. McSlore is out of town and no one checks in with me for a few days. 

Yes, this is a blatant attempt to get Chemgal to adopt a puppy.

Elsa On WWHL

Gloria Estefan, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTH? Picture

And the quirky blog where it originated.

Becoming Chaz

I cannot wait for this documentary to air on May 10th. You go, Chaz! And Cher, you should be calling him 'HIM' already. Hasn't it been half a dozen years already? Okay, I'll stop being a bitch. This had to be difficult for everyone involved, and I love Cher so much. I was just so shocked by her reaction back when Chaz first came out, especially since she has so many gay fans. She's still a mother first, I guess.

William Levy, Aieeeeeeee!

Since Elsa wasn't on the show last night, the only real reason to watch The Real Housewives of Miami was this guy-

More pictures and a synopsis of what you DIDN'T miss after the jump.

Elizabeth Taylor Dies and What A Dame She Was

I was busy writing this morning when out of the blue I hear from Chemgal that Elizabeth Taylor has died from congestive heart failure at the age of 79. I'm really sad about it, mostly because I discovered her great movies during my formative late teens and early twenties. The rent girl in Butterfield 8, the master of campy costume changes in Cleopatra, the sheer genius of a barely hinged woman in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. All great roles to which she brought great strength and creativity. It says a lot about an actress's talents when you can't even imagine another person playing the parts they so vigorously mastered. Angelina Jolie playing Cleopatra? I'm not sure I can get excited about that, even with David Fincher directing. They better cast Brad Pitt and get them both naked, am I right?

Regardless, she will be missed for many reasons. When you start out as a child star you either learn to adapt and develop a strong personality or exposure to that world will chew you up and spit you out. Taylor had her excesses to be sure, but she was a gutsy broad, in the best sense of the word. She love freely, married often and never gave a good Gaddamn what any of the tabloids said about it, and for that I salute her. I hope she's in heaven right now whooping it up over an endless bottle of Champagne with Richard and Roddy. Salut!

p.s. I know what you can do with all that joorey that's sitting in your home all lonely and unused. I'll pay for postage.

Caption The Housewife, HATS Edition

I don't know who the other lady is, but this is Marysol looking all gussied up for a super social luncheon in South Floor-ree-duh. I thought it was cute and Spring-y and you could all make jokes about lampshades, etc.

Why do I have this sudden craving for Good n Plenty?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Canine Centipede

I know. I'm gross. 

And don't give me grief about the holes in Napa's sweater. Girl gets into a lot of bitch fights. At least she wins!

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Strangerize in Paradize

If you had asked me a month ago who my favorite Orange County housewife was, I would have said Gretchen in a heartbeat. As soon as I knew that Jeana was leaving, I put all my eggs in her basket, a HUGE mistake. She's just as bad as the rest of them, only she was made likable by playing the good guy to Tamra's big, bad bitch. If only these women would just BE, instead of trying to appear as something they're not, like happily married to a sleazeball!

But at least you accessorize him so well!

The more someone insists on something, the more I'm inclined to see it as a cry for help. Bravo, bring back my fun bitches, this is just funny, I mean sad!

Caption The Housewife, Early Elsa Edition

Wow, she was pretty once! 
I think some asshole injected silicone directly into her face, causing it to sag and harden. She's lucky she's alive, if that's the case. If not, she has to be a burn victim. Has anyone even addressed this issue?

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Evolution Of A Nose

When is enough, enough? With some people, never. At least she picked a subtle surgeon but you can most definitely tell that Mallard had it tweaked during the off-season. 

And after-

Gosh, I thought that all Jesus cared about was your insides. Silly me! She really should have gotten it done before she posed for this ad. Who am I kidding? That's how they paid her!

Disney On Ice

Considering how many little Disney starlets end up abusing alcohol and/or drugs and in rehab, this really isn't all that shocking of a joke. Let's see, there's Xtina, Britney, Demi Lavato, Cubby, Annette.....the list goes on.

Caption Miss Andy At The Glaad Awards

What A Pig

Right now I am sipping my coffee and feeling like crap. I've been fighting a bug for weeks now and it's finally taken hold. That's the bad news. The good news is that I'm not married to a worthless piece of shite like Jimbo. God, he's disgusting. The recap will probably not be up until tomorrow, so go ahead and tell me what you thought of his Season 6 debut last night.

Added bonus, Jimbo pointing at the house he USED to own.