Saturday, November 6, 2010

Army Of Me

When I'm pissed or need to regroup this is what I play. It gets my hackles up and helps me remember what is most important- me and mine. Don't whine, do what you need to do, and stick to your principles.

No Winners Here

Can we just get campaign finance reform already? I don't care which side of the aisle you sit on, this is just ridiculous. No one that works for any news organization should be giving to any politician EVER. 

Friday, November 5, 2010

It's Friday

I know what I'm doing.

By the way, Joan Jett Is a Goddesss.

SPIDER, Horror Fiction by Prodigal Cheez

I have a couple of friends that write some amazing stuff and PC is one of them. This was already published on the blog I used to write for called TVgasm, and I thought I'd expose some of my readers to it as well. The imagery is phenomenal and I fell in love with it the first time I read it. I would describe the feel of the piece as something between Edgar Allan Poe and Kafka, a cautionary and nihilistic tale, if you will.

Enjoy, and thanks PC!

Caption The Housewife, Don't Choke On Your Communion Wafers Edition

Mallard Mouth has a line of couture *choke* dresses coming out in January, exclusively for Fredericks of Hollywood! Look how busy that fabric is, perfect for hiding the epic jizz of your loan shark husband!

Something Is Wrong With Your Lesbian Decoder Ring

See, they all want to sleep with us straighties! See, SEE?!?

Poor Kimmie the Shut-In

Her fiancee Jihn Collett was murdered at high noon on an L.A. street. Someone wasn't happy with his telemarketing skills, apparently, had enough and shot him WHILE HE WAS ON THE PHONE!

Who hasn't wanted to shoot a scamming telemarketer, or the dude that brokered that crap?

Anyway, it gives more credence to Kyle's argument that sister Kim had made some bad choices when it comes to the guys she swaps spit with. Plus, isn't one of her girls his? How awful to know that Daddy was killed, not to mention the fact that Jim Florentine has probably made fun of him at some point.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Okay, bitches. What the Hell was THAT. Anyone? You've all been asking. I want to hear your theories.

And Cameel-Toe was totally watching.


Her website is FABULOUS. Did you know that Giggy's full name is Gigolo? Hell, I thought it was spelled with a J! I feel so much more in the loop now.
Thanks, Skatt!

SNL Housewives Parody

Need I say more?

It starts out slow but picks up when Molly Shannon starts talking about her line of cocktails. @3 1/2 minute in.

Jill Is Going To LOVE This

Look who is going to appear on Skating With The Dying Embers of Fame, it's Lady B! She has some real guts to compete in a sport that is clearly dominated by The Zarin. How on earth is she going to top Jill's face plant of perfection? How dare she even try!

Seriously, you just know that Jill is going to be on her knees to whatever devil she made the deal with to make Bethenny fall/fail. And since none of you asked for it, here's a reminder of the hated one's Ice Castle moment from last year's Fantasy Holiday Party of Pfffffttt.

Oh, and for those of you that don't mind sleeping on bedding that has the same color scheme as Jill's stroke inducing living room, you're in luck. Her BB&B collection is out, and it's priced to not-sell at just under $200!

Who designed that pattern, Ginger?

I think Jill just traced her tinkle and sent it in. I've seen better stuff in the Delia's catalog and you don't need to be a Diamond Saks card carrier to afford it.

Bruce Banner's Puppy

Halloween Chez McSlore

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Patti Labelle On WWHL

Okay. I didn't watch the whole thing so someone explain to me how Miss Andy got The Goddess Patti Labelle to play one of his stupid games on Watch What Happens Live? Trash like Patti Stanger I get, but a living legend like La Labelle? She gives one fierce side-eye as well.

Bitch, who are you and why are you holding my hand?

Did you notice that she wasn't wearing shoes? Miss Andy is back to his old tricks again. He must have quite a collection of pumps by now.

He ropes her into playing a new version of Good For The Jews/Bad For The Jews or whatever the Hell it was called only this time he puts up pictures of Patti's actual friends and asks her to declare whether they are bougie, ghetto or boughetto. AS IF. She pulls the old lady excuse out and says that she can't see the monitor. She had no problem recognizing Miley, though!

Um, I don't know Andy, ghetto? She looks like ASS? I feel a doody coming on.....Pooghetto?

After L'il Kim gets a pass, they call CoCo a hot mess and then she's asked to rate herself from back when hairstyles could be considered a dangerous weapon, or something a really talented avante garde fan of Issey Miyake might come up with. 


Whoever did that hair is obviously incredibly talented with a flat iron. Do you remember the old ones? NASTY. My sister's friend in High School had one of those. I was at her house once when she was using it. She turned the stove on, put the iron on it and the entire place filled up with the aroma of Murray's Hair Pomade and whatever cooking grease had splattered from dinner. I'm going to let you decide where that special moment fits on Andy's Bougie spectrum.

And one more thing. I was wrong last week. Phakedra is clearly in her 12th trimester. I stand corrected.

Russell's Nutshell

We've all been wondering what is up with this guy, right? Well, a really thorough commenter on Gawker went and did a ton of research. Read it and judge for yourself. It does tell us who this elusive 'heather' is.
Yes, I've been on Gawker Media all morning. It's that or porn again.

I Am Not The Only One

Remember what I said about women wearing leopard? Here's another opinion-

Reality Chopped

Hey, kids! Click the link to see some fabulous Housewives Photoshop! It's some of the funniest stuff I've seen in a while.

thanks, Yolo

Monday, November 1, 2010

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: A Guise Girl

When you hear a woman say that she doesn't have many girlfriends, do alarm bells go off? They do for me. The excuses vary, from saying that women are vicious to other women, to claiming to like sports (and only guys like sports, right?...ASS), to just never having met another girl that they felt they could trust. Why is this such utter bullshit to me? Because there is no way that you reach your 40s without realizing that people should be judged on an individual basis, not lumped into a group. Not to mention, how do you get through the really tough times without your girlfriends (or gay friends) to help you? After a certain age, it doesn't add up. Oh, screw the pop psychology, Camille is a conniving cheater who drove her husband away and we're all thinking it, so what the Hell. I'll say it.
Let's get to the highjinks after the jump.