Friday, August 20, 2010

Dave Mustaine Smells Good

It was Tuesday. The weather had broken for 24 hours, just long enough to do some yard work and head up to Joseph Beth to get an autographed copy of Dave Mustaine'e new autobiography. For any non-metal heads out there, he was a founding member of Metallica, has been in rehab 17 times and fronts the highly successful, both critically and financially, band Megadeth.
We approach the facade of the store, and what's that I see? A little placard notifying the customers of today's luncheon specials? Must get a closer look..

How heartwarming! I wonder if Dave had a hand in this? He's changed, you see. He CARES. He doesn't smoke dope or screw random women while spreading disease from Boston to Vancouver. Not anymore.

The line is long-ish. We wait for twenty minutes with me trying to think of something clever to say which is probably the precise thing that you don't want to do. We get closer until the guy right in front of us is talking to him.

I want to request for him to write 'Lars is a fruitcake' in my copy, but completely lose my nerve when I see his impatience with the tongue tied and star struck military guy in front of me.
It's my turn and all I blurt out is "You smell good." Waaaaaahhhh!!!!

By the way, the book is really good. It has your usual tales of a woebegone childhood and a drug addled rock God lifestyle, but it's written in a frank no-nonsense manner that anyone can appreciate. It's just a damn fine read. AND it answers the question I always wanted to ask- what the hell happened to his arm?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Britney Spears And The Letter 'L'

I never noticed how she exaggerates her tongue motions when singing the letter 'L.' Please tell me that a gay guy did this and not a perv. Thanks.

It gets gross after a while, no?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

God Save My Sinus Cavities

Oh, for fuck's sake, what? A perfume named after an iconic punk band that disintegrated decades ago. why? And listen to this- it has notes of patchouli in it. HIPPIE OIL. Whose bright idea was this? Isn't Malcolm McClaren dead? I'm so confused. They should have just slapped the label on a bottle of poppers.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Self Improvement

So, after a long day of yard work and the subsequent aches and pains, I had an idea. Time to mix it up and find a new workout, something to really get those juices flowing and inspire me to great heights of personal excellence. Would it be yoga? Pilates? African dance? Nope, something far greater than that. Here is a tutorial on my new exercise regime!

Maru Super Slow-Mo

My eyes, my eyes! He's eating my soul with his eyes!

Great Article On Narcissists

I read this article this morning in The Huffington Post and the first person that came to mind was Jill Zarin, of course! All you Gasmii out there know what I'm talking about, and I know from your comments that you know a couple in your own lives. What's great about reading the link, though, is that she gives you advice on how to deal with them. Basically, never share anything too personal with them or rely on them for emotional needs. These people will never be more than aquaintences, and don't try to make them into anything more. That kinda sucks if you happen to be related to one, or worse, MARRIED to one.

Once again, the music at the beginning is AWFUL. A pathetic piano diddly-boo hoo.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Pissed At The PGA

In case you weren't watching, Dustin Johnson hit out of a messy sandy rough on the 18th and then qualified for a 3-way play-off for winner of the PGA Championship. They ruled, after he went to turn his score card in, that he was in a bunker when it just looked like a messy unkempt rough.
I sent this email to the PGA at Since then all news stories of the bunker incident have been taken down. Also, I'm confused. When I watch golf and someone makes an error, the PGA tour official assigned to them informs them of that fact right away. Why did the official assigned to Watney and Johnson sit idly by and say nothing? He clearly grounded his club before he even addressed the ball! Shouldn't he have gotten the penalty strokes THEN?!!
Here's my email-
Re: the decision to penalize Dustin Johnson for grounding is club because it was in a bunker- What a terrible moment for golf. Where was the PGA official when you allowed dozens of spectators to stand in this so-called 'bunker' as Dustin Johnson made his shot? I can't remember ever seeing anyone being permitted to do so, and I've been watching and playing golf since the 70s. This is compete and utter nonsense, and unimaginably hypocritical. You eliminate someone because of the rules when you didn't enforce them in the first place? Embarrassing.
Just awful.

Here's Mr. Mcslore's email, and if you were as pissed as we were, then send one of your own as well.
As an avid PGA fan, I want to ensure that my opinion is at least seen- BOOO!!! There is not even an accurate count of the number of "sand traps" on the Whistling Straights golf course, therefor, without even an accurate count no one even knows whether to warn Dustin Johnson that he is in a "sand trap" and should not ground his club. And if it truly was a "sand trap" why were spectators standing in it during Dustin's strike? To deny him his rightful place in the PGA playoff in these circumstances is a travesty.
Update: Okay, I'm still mad. If this wee spot of sandy dirt with random tufts of grass in it was truly a bunker, why wasn't it cordoned off? There were people standing on it when he tee'd off and normally there would be rope strung across preventing spectators from entering the area and course volunteers enforcing it. This is why I continue to call BULLSHIT. I could care less that they are now claiming that they gave all the golfers a piece of paper saying that EVERYTHING was a hazard. Then keep EVERY Tom, Dick and Harriet off of it! They need to figure their shit out before they are allowed to host another PGA event. This is beyond ridiculous. And poor kayner. His win is forever going to be tainted with the stink of crappy officiating.