Delightful Holiday Musical to Share With Your Loved Ones

Turn Jesus On and Off

Yes, I am well aware that I am going to Hell but it's not like I'm the one that came up with it.

Passive Agressive Note

Thanks, baby.

What Nerds Do in the Basement After Their Mom Takes Away Their XBox

How much do you want to bet that this dude is already working on his costume for next Halloween?

Andy Mocks LeBron

I had no idea that LeBron tattooed 'Chosen 1' on his back. What a serious case of hubris. I still love him, though. It's pretty cool that he can take a joke, but Anderson Verajao needs to shave his neck and quit wearing buns. NOT terribly masculine in my book.

Thanks, Rob.

It's Good Friday. Are You Atoning For Your Sins?

Because if you're not, spanking Jesus can help you with that.

Watch This Tornado Stop Dead in It's Tracks

It is tornado time again. That means that I will start having twister dreams on a weekly basis until September rolls around again. I've seen a couple in my lifetime and I have an almost irrational fear and fascination with them. I can't help but DVR Storm Chasers on the Discovery Channel and watch with trepidation, fascination and incredulity. The chasers are cuckoo bananas so don't do this at home. Unless you live to put it on Youtube, of course.

Downward Facing Dog

This is where it comes from, my fellow yoga enthusiasts.

I need to get back up on that horse again. The stretch and pose and breathe through the eyeballs one. It's been too long. These dogs are more flexible than I am at this point.

Hopefully my boyfriend will thank me later.

Thanks to Cute Overload.

Roger Ebert on Bill O'Reilly

I love his sense of humor and anyone who can skewer delusional Bill with intelligence and a chuckle is doing humanity an invaluable service.

Dear Bill: Thanks for including the Chicago Sun-Times on your exclusive list of newspapers on your "Hall of Shame." To be in an O'Reilly Hall of Fame would be a cruel blow to any newspaper. It would place us in the favor of a man who turns red and starts screaming when anyone disagrees with him. My grade-school teacher, wise Sister Nathan, would have called in your parents and recommended counseling with Father Hogben.

Yes, the Sun-Times is liberal, having recently endorsed our first Democrat for President since LBJ. We were founded by Marshall Field one week before Pearl Harbor to provide a liberal voice in Chicago to counter the Tribune, which opposed an American war against Hitler. I'm sure you would have sided with the Trib at the time.

I understand you believe one of the Sun-Times misdemeanors was dropping your syndicated column. My editor informs me that "very few" readers complained about the disappearance of your column, adding, "many more complained about Nancy." I know I did. That was the famous Ernie Bushmiller comic strip in which Sluggo explained that "wow" was "mom" spelled upside-down.

Your column ran in our paper while it was owned by the right-wing polemicists Conrad Black (Baron Black of Coldharbour) and David Radler. We dropped it to save a little money after they looted the paper of millions. Now you call for an advertising boycott. It is unusual to observe a journalist cheering for a newspaper to fail. At present the Sun-Times has no bank debt, but labors under the weight of millions of dollars in tax penalties incurred by Lord Black, who is serving an eight-year stretch for mail fraud and obstruction of justice. We also had to pay for his legal expenses.There is a major difference between Conrad Black and you: Lord Black is a much better writer and thinker, and authored a respected biography about Roosevelt, who we were founded to defend.

That newspapers continue to run your column is a mystery to me, since it is composed of knee-jerk frothings and ravings. If I were an editor searching for a conservative, I wouldn't choose a mad dog. My recommendation: The admirable Charles Krauthammer.

Bill, I am concerned that you have been losing touch with reality recently. Did you really say you are more powerful than any politician?

That reminds me of the famous story about Squeaky the Chicago Mouse. It seems that Squeaky was floating on his back along the Chicago River one day. Approaching the Michigan Avenue lift bridge, he called out: Raise the bridge! I have an erection!

I Just Thought That This Was Funny

Found this at Jezebel. It kinda says it all, doesn't it?

(Sorry so tiny)

Angel's Nick Adenhart Killed by Hit and Run Driver

He just pitched last night. Six scoreless innings. So sad. And look at him. He looks like a kid still. Well, he is only 22. All three people in the car with him were killed when a van blew through a red light. This better not be a drunk driver.

Here are the official statements:

Adenhart is survived by his father Jim and mother Janet. His family released the following statement:

"Nick's family expresses sincere gratitude for all the help the Angels have provided. He lived his dream and was blessed to be part of an organization comprised of such warm, caring, and compassionate people. The Angels were his extended family. Thanks to all of Nick's loyal supporters and fans throughout his career. He will always be in everyone's hearts forever."

Angels General Manager Tony Reagins issued the following statement on behalf of the club:"The Angels family has suffered a tremendous loss today. We are deeply saddened and shocked by this tragic loss. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Nick's family, friends' loved ones and fans."

Observe and Report Trailer

This movie looks like it is all kinds of wrong. Making fun of different races, beating up kids, joking about mental illness and Seth Rogen screwing Anna Faris while she is passed out. Genius or hateful? It doesn't look that funny to me so I'm going to go with hateful.

Celine Dion Wants to Own the Habs

From The Hollywood Reporter:

TORONTO -- Canadian pop star Celine Dion, Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte and Quebec cable giant Quebecor Media have emerged as potential bidders for the Montreal Canadiens NHL team. Quebec broadcaster Radio-Canada said Wednesday that the Bank of Montreal has signed confidentiality agreements with 10 potential suitors who have until 5 p.m. Thursday to submit formal bids to 80% majority owner George Gillett, a Denver-based sports team and events promoter. Other interested parties include U.S. investment firm Spectrum Equity; Montreal businessman Stephen Bronfman of Claridge Investments, a cousin of WMG chairman and CEO Edgar Bronfman Jr.; and the Caisse de depot et placement, a provincial pension fund giant. In addition to picking up the hockey team, a Canadiens buyer would acquire the Bell Center arena in Montreal and a concert promotion division. Gillett also owns Richard Petty Motorsports and the U.K.'s Liverpool soccer club.

Can you imagine? I hope she knows her hockey because if she actually does buy one of the oldest teams in the league, the press are going to be relentless. And why does the female owner of the Indians from 'Major League' keep popping into my head?

KANYE MUST RESPOND WITH ALL CAPS!!!

Do you like fishsticks?
Then you must be a gay fish.

UPDATE: Oh look, he did respond, and it is all in good fun and ALL IN CAPS!!

SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!

04.09.2009

No Doubt Cover Stand and Deliver

Ugh. I am hating it. You be the judge.

Adam Ant's is so much better. Plus, he's hot as hell.

Eminem's New Video

Eminem - New Music - More Music Videos

So, is he being sexist and homophobic again or is he just calling out pseudo celebs and hypocrites for what they are? With Eminem, you never know. I can see both sides but I have to admit that I laughed out loud when he put that Kardashian chick in the wood chipper and money started spewing out. That part was kind of genius. If he makes me laugh, I'm cool with it. Oh, and wait for all the free publicity his new album is going to get when the famous people depicted in the video start blogging and twittering their outrage. Should be fun.

Harold and Kumar go to The White House

Okay, only one of them does. Who knew that Kal Penn was such a Washington insider? He worked on Obama's campaign and now he will be the the assistant director in the public liason's office in The White House. He's leaving his job on 'House' and heading to Capital Hill. Can you imagine Bush hiring someone who has become a stoner icon? Not to mention the baby oil scene in Van Wilder, oy. This is refreshing to me, especially on an April morning when there is snow on the ground. I just love it when people think outside of the box.

A Baby Inside A Baby Inside A Baby

Lady Bunny and the Real Housewives

Who's more feminine? Who has thicker, more luxurious hair? Who can run down Avenue A in stilletoes the fastest? Here's a hint: the one in the picture above with the largest natural cleavage and the first name of Jon.