Saturday, January 24, 2009

Stains the Dog on The Soup

I think that this crazy puppy is about to join Spaghetti Cat in the Pantheon of ridiculous pet moments. He looks like he's seen a ghost or is trying to gather all his strength to keep from mauling that dog obedience chick. (Oh, how I wish he would.)

Keeping it Klassy: Men's Edition

There haven't been any really great crackwhore pictures of Pammy Anderson lately and that makes me sad. To make up for it I give you Illinois Governor Blagojevich, signing some Cubby fan's boobage. At least he did it over her clothing. The little boy in the background is not pleased. He's all, "Why does mommy have to act like such a slut in public? And for a stinking Governor? The least she could have done was get an actual ball player to sign her shirt."

Epic Snowball Fight Today

If you live close to the University of Wisconson, Madison, try to stay indoors today. The students who live in dorms are going to make a stab at breaking the record for the largest snowball fight. The present record is 3,700 and took place at Michigan Technological University last year. The difference this year is that the temperature is in the single digits so does that mean ice balls instead of snow balls? Are hand warmers illegal? Because if you melt the snow with them it will form hard little ice balls that could be brutal. I hope I'm not giving anyone any ideas but someone is bound to get hurt which explains the presence of police and emergency medical techs. This better be up on Youtube later today. They estimate, from the events Facebook page (you knew that was coming, right?) that there will be 4,000 people joining in. Wish I was there.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Roundtable Part 3

Sorry that this is a little backwards. Just start at the first post and then work your way through all three. I haven't found a way to do an extended post with a cut yet. Forgive me, everybody!

Roundtable Part 2

Newsweek Roundtable

With brad Pitt, Mickey Rourke, Anne Hathaway, Frank Langella, Robert Downey Jr. and Sally Hawkins. Pretention at it's best. Except for Robert Downey Jr. and Langella. And everybody knows what a huge Mickey Rourke fan I am.

Polar Bears and Climate Change

Did anyone watch the PBS program that was broadcast last night about how the Polar Bears are losing their feeding grounds at such a rapid rate they are venturing into Grizzly Bear territory? It's another frightening reality in the on-going plight of these majestic animals. I watched the "Planet Earth" series and it was brutal to see how they are starving to death and starting to become the prey instead of the predator. One became so desperately hungry that he tried to hunt a walrus and ended up being fatally mauled. This would have never happened just a scant few years ago.

Even sadder still, I'm sure I'm not alone when I admit that I don't want to watch this kind of heartache playing out right before my eyes, so I avoid it altogether. That begs the question, are they getting the attention they deserve and so desperately need? Are the ratings for these programs so low that the producers will be forced by funding issues to concentrate on only what will bring about high ratings and more money? I beleive that apathy kills, so please watch these shows and talk about it. Write to your congressman or woman, visit the conservation websites and donate, if you can. I would hate to see the day where the only Polar bears on the planet are living in zoos. Let's not allow them to fall through the cracks during these tough times.
Adopt one here;

Miss Aretha Can Get Away With Wearing Anything

Who does she remind you of in this photo? I'm thinking of a certain John Waters movie star who passed away shortly after filming the original "Hairspray." Someone who will live on in my imagination forever for tearing an umbilical cord with her teeth and eating freshly squeezed out doggy butt nuggets. One of my first encounters with how insanely wonderful a truly sick drag queen can be. And I was hooked for life. As I told Ru yesterday, if it wasn't for all my drag friends in my NYC years I would have had very little social life. So, worship your local gender illusionists! And don't forget that January if officially Drag Month so you only have a few more days to celebrate. So break out those heels and pencil in those eyebrows and show your pride!

For those of you who haven't seen the movies I am refering to, the drag queen is Divine.

Can You Guess Who This Is?

It was easy for me because I read too many trashy blogs every day. The bag over the hand, the same old jeans and tshirt and the ever-present super sized can of green tea. It's Shia LaDouche! I swear, I've read DListed too much because I can't remember his real last name anymore. Oh well. LaDouche has a nice ring to it.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Your Daily Cuteness

The scary thing is that kids do learn by example so we will have to undo the last eight years and the lessons it has taught our children.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My New Bromance Recap

Here is the link to my latest installment in the Bromance manifesto that I may or may not transcribe into book form some day. The masses demand it! Who am I to refuse?

It's Meo, The Matrix Cat!

Imagine if you will, living in a kitchen with 7 puppies. And you're an average housecat. Will you take the blue pill? Or the red pill......

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

What are the Proper Words For the Swearing In of the President?

For those of you who were wondering, here it is from Article II, Section I of the Constitution;
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
Justice Roberts placed the word "faithfully" in the wrong place and that is why Obama paused, to allow Roberts to correct himself. Obama did jump the gun in the first line, and that is why most of us assumed he screwed up the next part.

We're Going to Need More Prayers Today

Senator Ted Kennedy was just taken out of the Presidential luncheon on a stretcher. I hope he's okay. He looked really red in the face when they were showing him earlier. Word is that he suffered seizures, not unlike the ones he experienced before a malignant brain tumor was discovered earlier this year. Robert Byrd, the 91 year old Senator from West Virginia was also stricken with an undisclosed illness and taken to the hospital.

Buh Bye, Loser.

Hello, future.

Joseph E. Lowery's Benediction

This veteran civil rights activist and minister sure knows how to deliver, particularly at the end.

White House Website Already Updated

There will be a White House blog, as well, another first for this administration.

"A New Era of Responsibility"

The inaugural ceremonies today took a little longer than usual, due to the huge crowds and the even more massive security concerns of the day, but it was worth the wait. We had the procession of past presidents and their wives, 5 in all, and who got the best response from the crowd? The Clintons. The worst reception was for Dan Quayle and of course, Dubya.

The band started playing as loudly as they could to try to drown out the chants of "hey, hey, hey, goodbye," and "no more Bush." After that, silence.

I must say that Michelle Obama looked gorgeous in the citris spring green sparkly outfit created for her by Isabel Toledo, and the girls, Malia and Sasha were so cute and self-possessed for their age. It can't be easy to be a kid sitting in the cold without fidgeting. We next saw a shot of Obama walking down the hallway to come out onto the podium. He looked like he was gathering himself and putting that mask of calm on, when you know he either wanted to cry, or dance a jig. And when he finally took the oath, he stumbled a few time in his eagerness which only served to make him more human in my eyes. (Now I am hearing that Obama was only trying to correct Roberts, who screwed up the first lines of the oath.)

We had the Benediction by Rick Warren next which he ended with The Lord's Prayer. He did better than I expected, stressing the fact that we needed to have "new clarity in our aims." And, oh Aretha. That voice. She did a beautiful job with "My Country 'Tis of Thee." The John Williams "original" piece he wrote especially for the inauguration was not original at all. The plagiarist ended this "original" piece with an arrangement of "When the Saints Come Marching In." And is it my imagination or does Justice John Roberts Jr. look astoundingly like Dan Quayle?

I liked Obama's speech, it was exactly what we all expected, about how we need to "pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and begin the rebuilding of America." There were a few digs that were unmistakably directed at Bush concerning how we as a nation "are ready to lead once more," and how we will be viewed in a world where people will "judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy."

It was a truly historic moment and I hope that the schools around the country allowed their students to watch it in their classrooms, where they can finally beleive that racism may one day be a thing of the past, that they can acheive anything and that "Our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness." Amen to that.

(I apologize if I messed up any quotes, I don't know shorthand and was writing this on the fly.)

Work Stops Today at 11:25

For those of us lucky enough to work from home or have a television nearby, the inauguration swearing-in begins at 11:30, followed by Obama's address to the nation. The parade is at 3:45 and those of you without tickets, good luck. There are at least 2 million people in D.C. as I write this and more still to come. Obama is not in the parade, by the way, he will be watching from the White House. Speaking of which, it sure is nice to look at a building in our nation's capital and not be filled with loathing, for a change.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Remember This Great Man Today

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent. Martin Luther King, Jr.

And happy birthday to my baby, I love you.

AFC Championship Game Highlights

Super Bowl Bound

This game had me on the edge of my seat, pacing back and forth, screaming and wailing. And Troy's interception for a touchdown sealed the deal. Then what happens? Clark crashes into McGahee with such force that they have to take him away on a stretcher-mobile. Talk about a buzzkill. It's hard to be celebrating in the face of a team that might have just lost one of their best players.

Aw, screw it. FUCK YOU, RAVENS! We are going to the Super Bowl!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Fleury in a Steelers Helmet

The Penguins beat the Rangers in a shutout 3-0 today, and to show his support for that other Pittsburgh team, goalie Marc-Andre Fleury donned a Steelers helmet and waved a Terrible Towel around the ice after the win. Bring us luck, supa-stahh!!

I Wonder What Today is Going to be Like in This House

Mom is a Steelers fan, son likes Philly and dad loves the Ravens. And I have that pen!

Tony Hart Dead at 83

This is for any UK readers out there and my artist friends. Tony Hart was well known throughout Great Britain for his children's shows, Take Hart and Hartbeat. He taught children craft projects and encouraged their creativity through drawing. He held drawing competitions and would display the winner's artwork on the wall during his show. He won several Baftas and had a popular plasticine character sidekick that he called Morph. (he looks a little like Hanky, the Christmas poo from Southpark) Unfortunately he suffered two debilitating strokes and was left with no choice but to retire in 2000.

He told The Times: 'Today my studio lies abandoned, and I spend most of my day confined to my chair.
'Not being able to draw is the greatest cross that I have to bear, for it has been my lifetime passion. But, I endeavour to stay cheerful, as there is nothing to be done about my condition.'

He passed away early this morning from complications stemming from his strokes.

Obama's Whistle Stop Train Trip

This brings back memories of watching old news reels where Roosevelt or Truman would be smiling and waving from the back of the last train car, campaigning across the nation in the most efficient way available at the time. Only this time the campaign is over and we are about to have our first black president. I loved watching the videos on CNN of all the people smiling, crying and waving as our next president waved and smiled back. It was a nice gift to all the supporters on the east coast, and another way of showing how connected he is to the people who got him elected. What a breath of fresh air! Someone in power who talks to people and not down to them. Someone who cares about people's concerns and not just fattening the wallets of the 'good old boy' club. I hope that Barack enjoys these last couple of days before he is inaugurated. I hope he gets tipsy, smokes a doobie with the press corp, has some wild hanky panky with his wife and takes a long deep cleansing breath before thing become very serious very quickly. He has a long, hard road ahead of him, as do most of the rest of us. Good luck and God protect us all.

To Be 16 Again

Would actually kind of suck in a lot of ways. Oh well, I'd still do it for a day if only to remember what it was like to be a virgin with zero fat on my body.
It may end up being slow around here after 1pm. Too much hockey and football on, plus I have a press kit to read. So here is my Megan Fox at that tender teen time of big birthdays and first drivers' licenses, dry humping and feeling invincible. Hot, hot, hot.