Saturday, May 21, 2011

Friday, May 20, 2011

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Mystery of Violence

I have to be perfectly honest here: I HATE these women. They represent everything that is wrong with the 'aspiration without perspiration' reality culture we live in today. I could take it for 8 episodes, which is how long the first season lasted. What I can't do is take 16 episodes of dark, evil shit and spin it into any form of mirth whatsoever. These people behave like animals, and they show zero desire to stop the cycle. They are passing the violence, the cluelessness and their own unhappiness right on down to their kids. Hell, they're shoving it in their faces, all while thanking Jesus!

Vile, people. VILE.

Thursday, May 19, 2011



Caroline's New Handbag Line

I can smell the cheese from here!

David Hoyle Rocks

Since I'm stealing stuff from bunny's blog today, here's another great video. When I first started watching I was really hoping that he would take the narrative in the direction that he did. It's like setting the children free and I love it. Dad and Dad and Mom and Mom did a good job raising you kids, now carry the torch!

What A Smart Young Lady!

NOW Blogger decides to work! Oh well.

Stolen from Bunny's blog.

Caption The Housewife, My Turkey's Bigger Than Your Turkey Edition

Why do all the Jersey wummin dress like they're about to go dancing at a zoo fundraiser? Why, Lord, why???

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

PofW Music Video

Hello, fellow goobers. I am a wee bit burnt out from all the recap catch-up lately, so here's a charming video to watch. It will make you thankful for who you are, what you look like and how many brain cells you have, kind of like watching the Housewives.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Unleashed and Untethered

Once again we are drawn into the saga of spin controlling lives. Tamra wants you to believe that she is the Tina Turner of our times while Mallard is trying to convince us that the reason she's allowed to go places without Jimbo isn't because this is the only steady paycheck they're bringing in. Good thing we're all too smart to fall for it, right?

Bad thing Tamra has such good reflexes, though. So close, Simon. So close!

Caption The Housewife, Malice, Sweet Malice Edition

Monday, May 16, 2011

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Heads Will Loll

Hey, all! Jill the evil bitch is back! Not that she was ever really gone in the first place. She just tried to wreak havoc behind the scenes, failed, and is now regurgitating blogger lines, Tammy Sue style. Remember last year when I said, in reference to Jill, that saying something doesn't make it so? Well, I should be so proud and flattered because she used that line against Ramona. Stop stealing my material, Jill! I work hard on this shit!

Should I send her an invoice?

Caption The Housewife, Polka Don't Edition

Crackie at the Kentucky Derby. At least she covered up her boobs this time!