Chelsea Handler on the Today Show

I love this bitch.
I love that she has a fat, embarrassing dad.
I love that she could care less what you think.
I love that she has no filter.
I love that she drinks Champagne before noon.
But I'm still not buying her book until it's 20% off at Borders.

Angelina Jolie Spoof on SNL

Just found this and it kind of ties everything together, don't you think?

You Are Not Angelina Jolie

I found this article over at Jezebel, which goes a long way towards explaining how she could afford her Angelina Jolie makeover. Can we all agree that this woman is mentally ill?

Nadya Suleman Defends Her Decision To Have Octuplets
By Margaret, 9:30 AM on Fri Feb 6 2009, 7,946 views
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In the first interview with Nadya Suleman, the mother of the Bellflower octuplets explains why she thinks having 14 children was a responsible choice and why she's being unfairly attacked because she's a single mom.
A preview of Suleman's interview with Ann Curry aired this morning on Today (clip at left). (The full interview will air next Monday and Tuesday on Today and Dateline. Suleman was not paid for the interview according to NBC.)
Suleman tells Curry her desire to have a huge family stemmed from a dysfunctional childhood. "I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that ... I really lacked, I believe, growing up," says Suleman, adding that she felt she lacked a "feeling of self and identity," according to the Associated Press.
More of Suleman's backstory has been revealed in the interview, and in 300 pages of public documents obtained today by the AP. Suleman became pregnant with her first child in 1999 via in vitro fertilization after she was injured during a riot in a state mental hospital where she worked. She suffered spinal cord injury when a patient threw a desk. She filed for workman's compensation and according to a psychological evaluation she sunk into an intense depression because she was afraid she'd lose her baby. "When you have a history of miscarriages, you think it will take a miracle," she told her doctor. "I just wanted to die. I suspected I was pregnant but I thought, 'That's ridiculous.'"
Suleman collected $165,000 in disability payments for the injury, which she said left her in constant pain and helped end her marriage. In a December 2001 hearing, Suleman said pregnancy aggravated her back condition, forcing her to spend most the day in bed and leaving her unable to care for her first child. In the same year her car was rear-ended when she was leaving a doctor's office and she filed for workman's compensation again, saying she wouldn't have been at the doctor if not for the original injury.
Though Suleman is currently unemployed, she tells Ann Curry that she doesn't think she's being irresponsible by having more children because she plans to go back to college in the fall to get her Masters in counseling with the help of student loans and the school's day care program. "I know I'll be able to afford them when I finish my schooling," says Suleman. "If I was just sitting down, watching TV and not being as determined as I am to succeed and provide a better future for my children I believe that would be considered to a certain degree selfish." Though it's good to know Suleman has some kind of plan for providing for her children, she doesn't address why she thought having even one more baby was a responsible decision when she already had six at home and was planning to enter a demanding master's program.
But, she says she's providing the most important thing to her children - herself. "I'm loving them unconditionally, accepting them unconditionally," she says. "I'll stop my life for them and be present for them and hold them and be with them and how many parents do that? I'm sure there are many that do, but many don't, and that's unfortunate, and that is selfish."
Suleman says she was implanted with six embryos, as she was in each previous IVF procedure, which led to the birth of her six other children. Her fertility doctor, who performed each of the procedures, implanted six because her unnamed medical conditions makes it difficult for her to get pregnant, and then two embryos divided. She says she didn't want just one or two embryos transferred because, "those are my children and that's what was available and I used them. I took a risk."
Suleman points out that many couples undergo IVF, but "it's not as controversial because they're couples so its more acceptable." While it's true that the fact that she is a single mother may be fueling the outrage against her, it's clear from this statement that she doesn't fully understand why her decision to have so many children is so controversial. Maybe, as anthropologist Helen Fisher says in this MSNBC article, part of the reasons is that "[Society is] in a contraction mode, not an expansion one. And here is a woman who has absolutely disregarded that zeitgeist."

Little Edie Fashion Show

Did anyone ever see her hair? Was she bald? So strange.

Grey Gardens Trailer

The Maysles brothers filmed the documentary 30 years ago and it remains more real than any reality TV show ever could be. Little Edie and Big Edie are gone now but the house they lived in was completely renovated by Ben Bradlee and Sally Quinn, painted yellow and landscaped to perfection. They should have kept it grey, dammit. And how gorgeous was Little Edie when she was a debutante?
For some reason great beauty that sinks into madness is always so fascinating. You just don't expect it. You imagine their lives to be perfect, people heaping praise at their feet and lady luck is always on their side. I'll have to look it up, but were they ever diagnosed with anything? I'm guessing schizophrenia or Aspberger's Syndrome.

A Staunch Character

I'm on a roll here and until someone makes me stop I'm going to keep on posting them.

The Best Costume of the Day

I was getting nostalgic for some crazy Edie Beales action so I headed on over to Youtube and found this gem. Did you know that Grey Gardens is out on DVD now? I have to find it. Then I'm going to go upstairs, dig out my brown turtleneck and put on a snood. It should be fun, I've already got the crazy part down pat.

Octuplet Mom Speaks

Good God, somebody got some plastic surgery before they went on the Today show. Look at her lips! Does every girl in California receive blow job lips with their driver's license?
So here's that chick who squirted out babies like they were puppies talking to Ann Curry.
And I have one more thing to say; it's never wise to have more children than you have nipples.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

It's Do Or Die Time

Malkin pulled an overtime goal out of his ass last night, and not a moment too soon. We are down to the wire here and need to start winning, and not just against shitty teams like Tampa Bay. The playoffs were stellar last year and I'm gonna be pissed if I'm not wearing my Satan jersey in bars this spring. I want to be able to annoy non-hockey fans who have no clue who he is and just assume that I'm some kind of devil worshipping Pens fan. Hell, whatever it takes, everybody thinks the Steelers made a deal with the devil (refs) anyway.

Thanks to the Pensblog for the image.

Something to Celebrate

Hey kids, this is my last Bromance recap ever! Well, probably. I might get suckered in again the next time if the Viacom suits decide to renew. It was so much fun in the beginning, then it lost some of its homoerotic flair and we fell out of love before you could say Tweezerman. I appreciate all of you for reading it and the positive feedback I got from you, everybody needs encouragement once in a while. So, enjoy and don't hate me for being bitchy, I really couldn't help it at this point.

http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/bromance/bromance-ep-6-h-8912.php

People Are Crazy

Look at this poor dog. He's going to go home, find out his picture is the laughingstock of the internet and off himself with a poisoned Milkbone dog biscuit. As for the person who did the cut and dye job, AMAZING! Hope the accolades you got were worth Teenage Benji Turtle's suicide.

Here is the link to this fabulous website and if I catch your pet on there, I'm going to find you, do an intervention, rescue fido or fluffy and post a picture of you in a Michael Vick costume. Got it?

http://petswhowanttokillthemselves.com/page/1

Santonio Holmes Two Feet In

For all the doubters out there, here is an actual picture taken from behind Santonio and it clearly shows both feet (toes?) on the ground. I was reading a comment on NBC where a girl points out that they take ballet for a reason, and this is proof that those lessons pay off. Remember when they first started doing that and the hilarious video of 200+ pound guys trying to be graceful? Hippos in tutus had nothing on those guys.

2009 Bonnaroo Linup

This One's For My Baby

He put up with me screaming for 19 weeks, jumping up and down, scaring the dogs. This is the least I can do. (and I hope this isn't true but I heard they're going to remake it)

Dentists Have Good Drugs

I don't think that mom and dad have to worry about junior growing up to be a drug addict. The poor kid seems absolutely miserable.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I Want to Party with Biff Henderson

And smoke whatever he's smoking. This is a cute bit that was on David Letterman last night. I am so glad football season is over. My hangover feels like it's starting to become part of my DNA. I will gradually be posting more once I get to the hospital to get a new liver. Thank you for your patience.