Who Is This Person and Why Is He Trying To Look Like Beef Jerky

Seriously, anyone know?

Spot the Unexpected Guest

Ryan Reynolds Shirtless

You know. Just because. I love Mr. McSlore, don't get me wrong, but random half naked boys are MANDATORY in real life.

Plus, PUPPIES. Nom, nom, nom.

It's Almost Housewives Time

Yes, that special time of year when I will be recapping again. This time it is Beverly Hills and Atlanta. I'll be putting in my usual 5,000 words and being completely ruthless and obnoxious. So, basically this will be no different than the TVgasm days. Can you guess who I cannot stand on Atlanta? Did you guess 'all of them?'

Yes?

You win.

As for the Bev Hills gals, all I can say is that it will be a relief to recap a group of tightly pulled and generously pricked over-the-hill whores with piles of money. Those of you that read my O.C. recaps remember how utterly joyless it was to skewer people at the low point of their lives, no matter how heinous the behaviour that got them there (hello, Slurry and Frankenfailure- I'm looking at you).

So, I will see you soon and in the meantime I will be posting the usual nonsense.

xxxxxxxxoooooooooo

Tony Curtis Dies

So sad. Before you know it, all of old Hollywood will be pushing up daisies. Who's left, Kirk Douglas?

The good news is that the star of Some Like It Hot died in his sleep lying in bed next to his wife. I feel terrible for her, but there really isn't a better way to go. He was 85.

Mike Tyson Can't Dance For SHIT

Voi-fucking-la-

Every Little Step with Mike Tyson & Wayne Brady from Mike Tyson

Freaking Chipmunks

So, Mr. McSlore and I were backing out of the driveway on our way to pick up some gold paint at Home Depot when,

This little guy popped out from under the hood! What the....? Then I remembered. Two years ago we took the old Subaru in for maintenance and guess what the mechanic found? An entire chipmunk nest somewhere nice and warm where the babies wouldn't get immediately decapitated if they wandered too far from their momma's itty bitty teaties.

Now I live in fear of turning the car on, hearing a faint scream, and then lifting the hood to find chipmunk kabob.

What It's Like To Be Me (Circa 1991)

Johnny Carson Has A Potty Mouth

Roger Ebert tweeted this funny little out-take of a tonight show commercial for a feminine hygiene product. I wonder what he would think of all the boner ads we have to endure now. It's so freaking annoying.

Speaking of dead people, and annoying, Old Rose from Titanic died. She made it to 100, though. I'll be lucky if I make it to 60. Never fear, I plan on annoying right 'til the end.

Segway Owner Dies in Segway Crash

I kid you not. They found the Segway and the owner of the company face down in a pond. No foul play is suspected. I blame those awful runners and bicyclists that take over our parks. One of them probably wouldn't make way, and he lost control. Or maybe he killed himself for creating one of the goofiest modes of transport EVER.

Anyhoo, it's like dying while running after writing a book on running or getting a fatal heart attack after estolling the merits of eating mostly meat and fatty food. Would never happen, right?

The cosmos has a sense of humor. Clearly.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/BUSINESS/09/27/uk.segway.death/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn