I carved Mr. Pumpkin 2 weeks ago when it was still warm so he rotted and now he is dead. I spent an hour trying to make a Sleepy Hollow replica that i could light on fire and throw at the annoying teenagers in my neighborhood on Halloween. Now I'm going to have to resort to putting stool softener in the popcorn balls I'm giving out this Friday. Trick or Treat!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
A pharmacy in Arlington is denying to fill precriptions for birth control, or sell any kind of contraceptives, including condoms. The only kinds of birth control that are acceptable, according to the pharmacist's beliefs, are the rhythm method or pull-and-pray. This is okay because in Virginia you can deny any drug for any reason as long as it is against your moral beliefs. Third world countries have more sense than this. Does he fill prescriptions for Valtrex, or other STD drugs? If pull and pray is an acceptable method, should I assume that all that porno out there with girls taking a load to the face were done by fundamentalists? Does that make them Christian? Who cares. Just walk to the CVS across the street. That's what Jesus would do.
Maybe you remember him, maybe you don't. He was a pioneering black comedian who starred in Dolomite and other Blaxploitation movies. He had an unforgiving pimp attitude that has been copied by most of the rappers we know today. He died from complications stemming from diabetes in my hometown of Akron. RIP Rudy. I hope that all your copiers pay homage and attend your funeral.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Think about her opinions, where she stands on issues that are important to all of us. I know she's ONLY the Vice Presidential candidate, but picking her was a decision that has taken McCain off the radar with the media focused squarely on her. That's strategery for you. She's ignorant, she's reactionary, she could end up in the driver's seat. Scared? I am.
Thanks to Gallery of the Absurd for yet another amazing illustration. Check them out. http://www.galleryoftheabsurd.com/
This Beluga whale is blowing bubble rings to entertain himself. I remember being in college and practicing the perfect smoke ring for hours. We'd make it into a sort of retarded competition in my dorm room. Winner gets lung cancer!!
Another way animals are smarter than people.
And yeah, I still smoke. ugh
Miss Louisiana Teen USA decided she wanted to go out for a meal with a couple of pals the other night. Then she decided she didn't want to pay for the meal. Then she decided to forget her purse in said restaurant which she went back to get, at which time I assume she decided to get arrested since she had already decided to put some weed in her purse before she left home.
Just a day of bad decisions, y'all.
Punk ass Nick Hogan got out of jail just past midnight and was whisked away to a loud, boisterous party at his mother's house in Clearwater, florida. Where was John Graziano, the guy he turned into a vegetable by hitting a tree at over 100 mph? Yeah, I know. he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Well, he was lying in a hospital bed, in a perma-coma, missing a third of skull. And no, THOSE DON'T GROW BACK. And you don't recover if only you try really, really hard, and pray while people sing Kumbaya to you. So you better get some serious security kiddo, or someone with the surname Graziano might just eff your day up real bad.
What is it with child stars having totally effed up lives? Once you've outstayed your welcome by growing chin pubes or going through that awkward phase you might as well skip the debauchery and head right for Betty Ford.
Anyway, some former child actor named Skylar Deleon tricked a middle aged couple into showing him their boat, forced them to sign over the deed, then tied them to an anchor and threw them overboard. Yes, he appeared on Disney. What do they put in the Koolaid there? PCP?
Monday, October 20, 2008
"Worst Dressed List" creator Mr. Blackwell has died from complications stemming from an intestinal infection at the age of 86. He hasn't been relevant for a while, gofugyourself has taken that role over quite nicely. He scewered every one from Princess Diana to Sharon Stone whom he called "An over the hill Cruella DeVille." You have to wonder if anyone in Hollywood is going to attend that funeral.
Ratchet is going home, finally. Sgt. Gwen Beberg's fellow soldiers found this puppy in a burning trash pile and it's been helping her cope with the ordeal of being in Iraq. A fellow blogger started a petition to get the dog to her in Minnesota, and it worked! Operation Baghdad Pups (part of the SPCA) got Northwest Airlines to do it for free. Now if only they'd help get the rest of the soldiers' puppies back home with them.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The first three quarters were pissing me off with the craptacular skills displyed by all. Then, do I need to say it? Because I can't. I was outside helping prepare the pond for the winter and missed everything. I guess I'll have to watch Sportscenter tomorrow morning. By the way, Hines Ward rules! Fines be damned!