Busy Little Bee

Sorry for the lack of posts today but it was a busy day chez McSlore. We didn't even have time to golf or go to the Indians' Game! We got the stream cleaned up, including the chipmunk burrows on one side, I potted a ton of baby Hostas and hanging plants, trimmed stuff and almost fell on my ass when I put a step ladder on loose soil. Also, we are one step closer to the new bar being done since the Mr. moved the cabinets into the kitchen, and we got glass block put in the basement windows. What a relief. Those old windows were awful.

You know it's Spring when people start hanging out on their porches again, but what's wrong with this picture?

C'mon now, people. 

American Gigolo Houseboys

I was chatting with some friends about our retirement home together and the house boys we might need to hire. You know, if (God forbid) anything happens to our significant others. I think a Julian type might be a good start  but I'm open to other ideas.
Side note- Didn't Lauren Hutton look drunk in every scene?

CREEPY

It's A Balzac!

I'll admit it, I've busted a few in my time.

TGIF With A Cowboy

It feels like Friday today because a ton of people I know that usually work tomorrow have the day off. I think it's because some guy died because he was healing without a license and distributing some kid's lunch of loaves and fishes without the proper permits. He also turned White Zinfandel into Pinot Noir, so he's cool in my book, and he hung out with loose women. HELLO. 
So, this is for you, Hay-Zeus!

Two Cats And A Treadmill

They are slowly learning our ways so their evil overlord will be poised to take over next year. The evil overlord is Grandma Wrinkles, in case you didn't know.

Bonus- Hilarious reddit link

Jeff Goldblum Is Watching You Poop

PC wrote this song a long time ago and she wants some more hits, so here it is. 

The things I do for my friends.

Watch Alex Model

And listen to her contradict herself!

A Tornado Stole My Hamburger

We have a new viral video. Watch him get a single out of it.

Weird Al's 'Perform This Way'

Here's the song that Lady Gaga wouldn't approve until the entire internet got into an uproar over it. Can't wait for the real video. I hope he nails her preposterous posturing and pop rip-offs.

Another Preview Of Bravo's Wild Kingdom

And freaking learn to close you param brackets in html, Bravo! I have to fix that shit every time and my time is valuable. Unlike Greggy, I actually DO dole out regular blow jobs, sheesh!

You Don't Want This

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Cutting Out The Fat

Do these women think we suffer from short term memory loss? I have to ask because why else would they be such hypocrites on a weekly basis? Well, you can't fix stupid, to paraphrase Ron White Tammy Sue Bob, and you can't make what's dull interesting. Or can you? God knows I keep trying. 

Isn't there a definition for insanity in there somewhere?

Happy 420, Everybody!

We all know who drinks, ALL OF THEM.

We all know who enjoys a little hypoallergenic nose squirt once in a while.

And it's no secret who smears lorazepam on her English Muffin every morning.

BUT, which housewife is the most likely to be smoking pot right now, Lynn Curtin excluded because it's too easy as she is Grand Marshall at the Stoners For Equality March in Huntington Beach, or so I hear.

Caption The Housewife, I'm With Smartypants Edition

Are they selling these t-shirts now? I sure hope they benefit a charity, like helpsimongetajob.com.

Some 80s Nostalgia

Scenes from a mall. Remember when you could smoke pretty much everywhere? Those days are long gone.

A Very Strange Dynamic

Why are LuLu and Leather having a discussion about friendship? I will hazard a guess. I think that everyone knows that Leather was on something last year and they want, no, they NEED to know she's clean. The Jills and LuLus need her as an ally and part of making her a viable one is convincing us that she's sane. Thoughts?

A Sonja Morgan Must-Read

It's been a while since I read The New York Social Diary, so color me flabbergasted to see an article on our Ms. Tremont-Morgan Antoinette. Seems the writer has known the Gay Icon for many years, even in her lunch hostess to the tycoon buffoon days. He says she's quite oral, I mean verbal. Go figure.
Now, go read! 
http://www.nysocialdiary.com/node/1905931
The New York post article, here: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/tv/let_them_eat_cake_iBZPurrzpHFvTnhS3eLJQL
Apparently they deleted the comments because so many were nasty. Once again, these women are a lightening rod for moral judgement. Business as usual, only more fun because she's so bawdy. Oh, and she threw in a dig at Camille! Sorry, that's kind of awesome.

Caption The Housewife, Piano Legs Edition

It looks like old lush Kim D is vying for the Alex Bad Posture Award. Good Lord.

A Beautiful Day In Cleveland

This is where I was last night instead of live blogging with you guys. I'm really sorry about that but how could I say no when Dr. Bachelor invited us over for spicy food and a sampling from Maynard Keenan's winery? It was phenomenal, as was the view. That's his living room window above ^.

Here are some shots from outside:

It's Spring, so it's been raining a lot and the water is a bit muddy, but it's excellent for swimming in the Summer. Lake Erie is shallow so it warms up pretty quickly. I highly recommend Huntington Beach. It's young and fun for people watching.

Good company, great views and beautiful weather. All in all, a wonderful day.

Mob Wives Open Post

It's only a couple hours off, the premiere of Mob Wives on VH1 at 8. I thought we'd run down the personalities with a short bio of each girl from Staten Island. 
First up is Drita.

She's from a tight knit Albanian family that are none too pleased with her marrying into the mob. Her husband is in prison for robbing a bank. They've been married for 12 years but have only spent 2 of those years together because the dud sucks as a criminal. This one probably has some financial problems.

Tornado Alley Was Amazing

This was my first trip to an Imax theater and just walking into the place gave me vertigo. I felt like one wrong move would send me tumbling over the people seated in front of me.

I didn't get any pictures of the movie because I never thought to! It was so unbelievably incredible that the thought never crossed my mind. The Great Lakes Science Center is showing it and it's about Sean Casey's quest to film inside a tornado. It was 8 years in the making. The 40 minute film was the TV show 'Storm Chasers' times ten and without all the drama. I found myself grimacing and tightening up when the footage from inside the actual tornado came on screen. A must-see for any fans of the show or storm chasing in general. Here's the trailer-

And this is for Leenieva, pictures of downtown Cleveland where she could be living right now and enjoying the scenery and all the cultural wonders the area has to offer.
Rock Hall-

Brown's stadium-

And a view of downtown-

I'll be here if you need a real estate agent, or a tour guide!

Real housewives of New York City Recap: The Medium Is The Message

I was actually going to title this episode 'Getting Others To Do Your Dirty Work,' because Jill Zarin's filthy little fingers are all over what happened this week, even if she barely appears on screen. Suddenly Sonja is a condescending bitch? That makes so little sense that my brain naturally went to assuming that Jill was filling her head with nonsense. If I'm wrong, fine. Either way, Sonja's a big girl. She said what she said and she did what she did, she needs to take responsibility, and most of it was AWFUL. 

By the way, Countless, if you're on a reality show? I'm pretty sure you forfeit your right to claim higher social status. Emily Post said that, I think. Or was it Markie? Who cares? The point is, LuLu does care, when it is of absolutely zero importance.

I must say that this episode got me pissed off. I do not understand how grown women can act like such children with absolutely zero self awareness. The whole class bullshit that permeates the narrative is completely beside the point. People are most comfortable with others in their socio-economic strata. We know that, but how is Alex below all these women that married into money and barely contribute to anything other than their own self-aggrandizement? Her only real fault is that she doesn't know how to argue, and she doesn't understand that getting things done your way is better accomplished behind the scenes when you aren't a good verbal sparrer.

The reason why the Sonjas and the LuLu's of the world act high and mighty to the Alexes is a simple one. It's fear based. When your self worth is contingent on something as nebulous as your seat in the social hierarchy, you live at the mercy of changing winds. At any moment you could lose your wealth, your title, your home, your boy toy, or whatever it is that got you there in the first place, especially when you contribute nothing monetarily.

SO, I'm getting off my soap box and on to the March For Equality!

Penguin Tickling

I could think of a few Penguins I'd like to tickle, only they don't have wings and probably don't squeal like a girl. Probably.

Caption The Housewife, Freeloader Edition

Oh, how I hate landscaped facial hair, not to mention boys with pouts. Ick. I was going to post a picture of super-skinny Stretch but it was making me ill, especially after Friday's Ana post. Too much emaciation for one weekend.

Bonus: Lisa Vanderpump as a kid.