Saturday, December 4, 2010

Commenting Rules

99.99% of you have no problem commenting like a normal decent human being. This is not directed at you, though it doesn't hurt to have a refresher.
This is not a free-for-all. You cannot drop in and attack people. This is a benevolent dictatorship and I am the dictator. You show up and attack- you get banned. This goes for everyone. As a matter of fact, I reserve the right to ban you with impunity. If you don't like the rules, which I can and will change as it suits me, go create your own blog and rant and rave about it. It will only prove how truly insane you are.
In closing, in the immortal words of Bethenny Frankel Hoppy, 'get a hobby.' NO ONE CARES, and if you continue to violate the privacy of my readers, I will take further action. As a matter of fact, I will anyway. You cannot stalk a blog all day every day and then call the people on that blog stalkers. That is insane. 

Friday, December 3, 2010

There Is Nothing Like Some Puppy Love

Cold winter antidote. Warm puppy. 

Misfit Love

let's move on from this awful troll drama and watch an amazing band perform on the Rollins Show. Viva hot guys with instruments!

Blog News

I am so sorry everybody but we have to go private for a while. For those of you that weren't here yesterday, I got trolled by someone on a post about stalkers. How ironic is that? At any rate, this is temporary and something I had to do because the troll posted a friend's personal information in the comments and that is SO uncool. 
We'll be back to normal in no time and I apologise once again for the nastiness of yesterday.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Christmas Gift Ideas

Some of you people are so freaking hard to buy for. What do you give to the asshole that has everything, or the picky bitch with the insanely undeserved high standards. Why, you buy them funny crap! Here's where-
For me when I'm not drinking-

For junior-

We got the catalog in the mail today and Mr. McSlore is sitting on the couch snickering over it right now. If he thinks he can get away with giving me maple bacon flavored caffeinated lollipops instead of joorey HE IS OUT OF HIS MIND.

By the way, I picked some stuff out for you guys, after the jump. If you can't figure out what it is, just hover over the pic. It should say. Hope you like it! If not, you are an ungrateful child and you'll be lucky to get a shoe up your ass, compliments of moi.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Me In Four Years

Hell, it's me NOW!

World AIDS Day

Today is the day that I thank my lucky stars that I never got this disease, and believe me, anyone can get it. You don't have to be gay or a drug user. If you need proof, look no further than the epidemic in Africa, and the subsequent change in life expectancy, especially in Sub-Saharan regions. I have lost way too many friends to this disease. Hell, one was too many. I'm sure you have too. Here are some interesting links to read, and remind ourselves of how decimating it's been to an already dehumanized portion of our society.

From Bob's blog:
The Advocate:
The official website:
The gawd awful dead celebrity awareness campaign, though who doesn't want to see a Kardashian in a coffin? :
And Bunny's post on lame club kids. Why not? I knew club kids, now long dead from AIDS, that are still more interesting than these sad sack trolls! :
And just like that I made a stupid joke in an AIDS post. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about me, I don't know what will.

Mariah, Mariah, Mariah

Rich from FourFour is a saint. He watched all these HSN appearances and then made this powerfully redundant clip. It is unreal. What do you think it's like to be her? She's basically the female human version of Jabba the Hut. She lays around, gets carried and hoisted onto stages, has someone at the ready with an atomizer in case she farts, and has an infant's love of all things sparkly and cute. She must be surrounded with sycophants 24/7. How else do you explain that drugstore designed perfume bottle? It makes L'Air du Temps look like something that fell out of Marie Antoinette's ass.

Worst Break-Up

I am taking Sheesh's advice and starting a new thread for you crazies and all your insane exploits. I had no idea that the readers of this blog were a bunch of alcoholic outlaws. I thought that I was the only one! (((group hug)))

So, share your break-up and 'men are horrible' stories, and no, this is not a contest. I can't be giving away ALL my toiletries. Stanky ass janksters don't get the good joorey, as we all know.

As usual, I will start. This was a long time ago when I was a barely legal Twunt. 
I was 18 and dating a guy we'll call Asshole. He was from a fraternity that was loaded with future firemen and outdoors-y guys with inscrutable majors. It was fun, he was cute, but nothing serious. 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

That's Okay. That Just Leaves Plenty For The Rest of Us

What the??????

Caption the Housewife: Name The Baby Edition

Kim Zolziak is with child, as we all know. I weep for the Atlanta school system, and God help Kandi Burress if the wee bugger feels like taking up singing. There's not a whole lot that we can do about that, but let's be pro-active anyway. Name the baby that she's carrying by football player Kroy Biermann. 

I'm thinking Doral for a boy, or Mentholia if it's a girl.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Patty Cake Pussies

For all you goofy pet owners that pretend your animals can talk. 

not like I do that. ever. that you know of.

Thanks, Tobes!

Musical Dichotomy

I have a diverse taste in music. You do too, I'm sure. We all do, as we should. For instance, I love everything by Orb, and everything by Thievery Corporation. They played at Bonnaroo last year, and I was surrounded by a thousand tripping children of children of hippies. Beautiful.

And I like ugly metal. Killing Joke, everything Mr. McSlore plays, Slayer, on and on, and Strapping Young lad.

And I like the really melodic Russian composers. I DIE for this, don't ask why.

Puppy Flashback

This is from last winter when my voice was all messed up from the flu and me and Mr. McSlore decided to do some dog mushing down the street. It was super snowy, I may have had a glass of wine or two in me and the dogs mushed me into a snowdrift. Expect another one in a month or two. Yay, puppies!

LMLMB's First Queasy Freebie

You know how much I love Cameel. She's just an inspiration to gals the world over who aspire to work a stripper pole without sliding back down it due to those unexpected squirts. SO, this is my first ever contest, and the prize will be.......ImodiumAD and some gibrone hair remover that I have lying around the house. You don't want to worry about any pesky dingles when you've got the runs, now do you? Okay, so the contest. I had to choose this topic. My Jersey friend That Must Remain Nameless suggested it, and you just don't say no to her.

It's simple. What's the coolest thing you've ever done? And you know damn well I will be sweetening the deal with more than the crap described above. Anything for my Twunderers. And just ignore those nursing pads. It was ages ago, and I changed my mind. The guy that knocked me up wasn't cute enough. Who wants an ugly baby?

Oopsy. Almost forgot. The deadline is 10p.m. EST on Thurday. Get 'em in before the next RhoBH.