Saturday, April 30, 2011

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Gibe Talking

Good Lord this episode was wordy! I had to pause the damn thing every 30 seconds to keep up. In all fairness, there have been times where I have had diarrhea of the mouth like Ramona and Sonja, but never on this scale! It's like watching The Women as staged by Eugene O'Neill. Funny thing is, the only person I really prayed would shut up was Cindy. Girl needs to make some adjustments if she wants to get along with everybody.

She could start by putting a bag over her head.

Caption The Housewife, Rah Rah, Sis Boom Blah Edition

And let the plastic surgery guesses begin!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Mississippi Tornado Insanity

I haven't said anything about it because I like to keep it light around here, but I feel so terribly for all the people affected by tornadoes this Spring, especially the one that hit Alabama and 4 other states. Over 300 people died! The only good thing to come out of the situation is the amazing footage that chasers risk their lives to capture. 

So, go see Tornado Alley and help support the crazy people that do this so we don't have to.

TGIF With Pinga The Dancing Dog

I Hate Brenda

Does this phenomena remind you of anything? When I saw this on World of Wonder, I DIED, and they're right about the guy with the comments about her lazy bangs. I die again! Stick around to the very end for Kurt Loder's comment. This is seriously the best laugh of the day.

What A Wacky Wedding

Kate and Wills got married. It was unbelievable upper crusty and foo-foo fabulous! Pfft. Princess Kate of the Anorexics wore a stunningly simple gown which was no surprise at all considering what a Sloane Ranger she is.

If I had any criticism at all, it would be that no one fed her leading up to the big day. Her figure wasn't THAT bad but her face was rather wan. Overall, I give the look a hearty meh.

Fashion-wise, there were some mis-steps, to put it mildly, and why do some of the women feel the need to glue a hat to their forehead? That trend needs to DIE before this happens. Just look at Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice-

Now I know who got all the looks in the family.

I have no idea why they did that. Does their stylist hate them? I know why Tara Palmer Tomkinson wore hers, to distract from her collapsed coke nose. Gah, why do know that and why do I read horribly backwards and misogynistic Daily Fail?

So that's where Tinky-Winky went!

Even Posh got in on the act, pairing hers with a funeral tablecloth.

Okay, Posh who?

To be fair, no one really notices her when he's around. Thank God he used a comb today and didn't decide to wear that stupid shoelace headband he sports in Galaxy games. Once again, why do I even know this? 

The queen was all smiles in yellow, Sir Elton looked the same as everyone else in his morning suit and this lady took the largest orange peony she could find and plastered it to the side of her head.

Here's one look I loved (thanks for reminding me, tnbelle!), Zara Phillips. She has a cute belted coat and I LOVE the shoes. They aren't sky high Louboutins, nor do they have a stripper heel. Fancy that!

British ladies and their hats. You will have to pry them from their cold dead heads. A hundred years from now we'll all be wearing space suits and they'll still be gluing giant gumdrops and dead buzzards onto their skulls. 
Ta ta, t'ra!

Pictures from The Daily Mail

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Bitch Pudding And Black Cherry

After the Pens loss last night, I am only posting shit that entertains ME. Not that it's going to be much different than any other day, now that I think of it.
So, on to the Robot Chicken un-pc hilarity!

Christie Brinkley At 57

If you ever needed proof that dancing on Broadway keeps you fit, here it is. She is currently starring as Roxie in Chicago and these pictures are from Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS which raise a whopping $3,707,085 for charity. She looks damn good! I want the name of her surgeon. He is a master. Of course it doesn't hurt that she was born with these genes:

I really miss the era in the 80s where models were supposed to look healthy. Sure, there were drugs, mostly cocaine, but everyone worked out and sometimes you'd get sent to a job days ahead of time so you could get a tan first. Now they all look like they want to stab you with the heel of their shoe after not eating for a month and injecting arsenic into their skin to look like an emo zombie child. How is that even remotely attractive?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Scissor Sisters

It finally got good this week, I must say! We have the all-too-brief return of Jeana and a scene with Slurry where her presence is completely inconsequential, kind of like the rest of her life. Then we find out that Tammy Sue Bob was done with her marriage a little sooner than we originally thought. Simon must be so happy this week! Somebody better hide all the dog leashes in Orange County..

Can We All Shut The Hell Up About This Now?

Seriously, this is the last I want to hear of it.

Caption The Housewife, Strollercoaster Edition

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Just Because

Since the theme today is trashy cheese...the genius that helped popularize it, Divine, Edie the Egg Lady and John Waters. Classic.

The Really Desperate Housewives of Silverado

Oh my GOD. The level of cheese in this is amazing! You have to watch. You just have to. The end.

Little Thor

Yeah, it's a rip-off of the Vader VW commercial, but it's still cute. The actual movie opens May 6th starring Chris Hemsworth and Anthony Hopkins as Odin. They're filming The Avengers here in Cleveland this Summer and I'm applying for some extra work. It's not so I can slink around the set getting pictures of RDJ or Jeremy Renner or anything. I need the money for our dog accessory start-up, I swear!

Caption The Housewife, Fog Chow Edition

Talk about the opening of an envelope. Does a paper flap count?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Barely There

This was a strange episode. There were a couple of hilarious moments, but for the most part none of it propelled the story lines further. It really felt more like a 'lost footage' reel, rather than the real thing. We did get to know Cindy a little better and I wish we hadn't. Geez, what a sad sack BORE. Why is she single again? You know, other than the fact that she looks like Steven Tyler with an unhinged jaw?

Oh, and no Jill! She getting a facelift in Australia because the Zarin hate hasn't reached that continent yet. Poor Bawby. I hope he doesn't get overwhelmed beating back all those fans of hers.

The A-Holes Among Us

Leenieva has a new blog! She always posts the most hilarious pictures of personalized license plates and now she added people as well. I LOVE the 'stuck in 1987' assholes in the picture above. Now go over there and laugh at the losers she captures every day.

Caption The Housewife, Gang Green Edition

A few of the housewives showed up for a famewhore photo op Central Park Beautification project this past week. Why anyone would ever give Ramona a sharp object is beyond me. Jill and Leather were there as well but they made them leave when all the plants around them started dying. That cat pee and Hell fire!