Thursday, October 14, 2010

Socialite Sociopaths

I finally went to Hulu at 3 a.m. and watched the finale of The Real Housewives of DC. Wow. I thought that New Jersey was treading into dark and nasty territory but this one takes the cake! It didn't help at all that it was filmed during some of the blackest, shortest days of the year and they threw up black screens with a dated timeline like it was a freaking episode of Law & Order. All that was missing was that weird metal door slam sound effect.

On this day a demon finally got his wings.

As I watched the Salahis in the back of the limo, and then taking the fifth during the hearing, I realized that Missy reminded me of someone, someone from my past, and then it hit me! I used to have a friend that ran a lingerie store. I met her because her shop was next to the cleaners that I ran in one of the nicer neighborhoods in Ohio. She was usually very friendly and chatty, traits that I enjoy, since I have the verbal habits of a parrot on meth. Anyway, she was tall, thinner than Missy, but with fake boobs and a cute nose job. She invited me to a barbecue at her home where she was acting a lot different than I was used to seeing her behave. You know that heavy lidded, down the nose, head tilted back way of speaking that Missy has? She was doing that.

Look, they didn't kill Buffalo Bill after all

He's alive and well and wearing a lady skin suit in Washington! I guess that size 12 lady skin shrinks after a while.

Anyway, it was creepy, and it got creepier. She leaned into me, clearly high, and asked if I wanted some coke. When I said no, (for one thing there were cops at this party!) she kept at it, saying, "C'mon, don't you like it? It'll be fun. No one will know. Half the people here are high." in this weird lizard like way. At that moment I knew that EVERYONE would know if I did it, even though I had no intention of doing any drugs at all. Wine for me, thanks!

That's the feeling I get from Missy. She's a corrupting influence on Tareq, not the other way around, as Paul said on the show. Poor guy (Paul). He doesn't want to believe that she's a sociopath. I don't know how he could think otherwise at this point. She's slimy, like a drug pusher or a low life scam artist. She has an agenda, and hers is status, wealth and fame at all costs. Tareq was a small time loser with dreams almost as big as hers, only he lacked the real cujones to get any balls rolling, so to speak.

Keep rolling those eyes though, buddy. Just wait until you find that insurance policy she took out on you.

You know she did. She probably took one out on his dead father too. That's probably why they were so nonchalant about his passing. 

The difference between Missy and my friend? My friend was high. She apologized the next day, and I forgave her. Sadly, I saw her a couple of years later and her nose had collapsed. Not as badly as Donnatella Versace's but still, it's pretty bad when the bridge of your nose is pointing at your shoes.

I have to wonder. What is Missy on? Whatever it is, it has stolen her soul. She can't relate to anyone, she brings nothing to any conversation EVER, her mouth opens and stale puffs of breathy platitudes and weary mirrored statements come out. She only voices an opinion that means anything when a con is involved, like trying to convince a drunken Mary that her daughter stole equipment.

I guess at the end of the day, I really have to ask- does Bravo know women at all? Do the higher-ups even LIKE women? I have my doubts. Why would they continue to cast these Danielle/Teresa/Jill nutjobs? I'd love to know your thoughts. It's driving me crazy. 


Prodigal Cheez said...

This is so awesome - I agree completely, Michaele is a straight up sociopath and her husband is a chump!

I have more, but I think I have to go to bed!

twunty mcslore said...

Did you ever get to sleep, Perry Mason? I watched golf and Storm Chasers with Mr. McSlore. Slept like a baby. 5 dogs in the bedroom and none of them snore. It's practically a miracle.
Up bright and early and ready to take on the hos, JOY!

(so, yeah. my mood has improved)

tnbelle1123 said...

This woman is beyond sociopathic, only I can't think of another word to use. okay? you can shoot me an email if you would like.

giffordsaz said...

I am very happy I found your blog! I love to read your writings.
Ms. Salami is undefinable to me. I guess she has to be on drugs, but at this point I am assuming it is many and varied. I have dealt with a MIL who is Bi Polar and she just doesn't fit that catagory. Sociopath works because the have no conscience right? I would bet on that before just straight up drugs. You know who I wish could get ahold of her.... DR. HOUSE.... he would knock her back to reality, but then what would we do with a stable Salami?

Prodigal Cheez said...

giff! Hey, I'm glad you're here! I miss your snarky hilarity! :)

That reunion was crazy wasn't it?

skatt said...

Oh, Thank-the- Jesus, I bothered to read Chemgals & The Cheez' PM's today over at the 'Gasm. I found you all.

Twunty, I'm so glad you're recapping both these!!

Giffordsez: Dr.House would be good to sic on her. Or the Criminal Minds gang.

Prodigal Cheez said...

skatt!!!!! So glad you found us!!

Could you believe Missy Salami at that reunion? She couldn't squeeze a tear out to save her life!! I can't believe Cat didn't lunge across Miss Andy and pound her head into the table - what kind of woman says "If you had love in your heart you'd still have a husband."; "At least I have a husband."; and "I have somebody who loves me."??? WHO says that shit in real life?

And big deal lady, you married TJ's Big Boy. NO ONE is jealous.

I'm jonesing big for some RHOBH. So far I hate Camille Grammer the most, and like Lisa Van der Pimp the best, but am giving lots of Krazy Kash Points to Kim Richards.

kbattaglia22 said...

I am crying, what a wonderful reunion!

sheesh said...

Missy has to be a sociopath. I just think she is compelled to continually lie and scam.

What really bugs me is that she hides behind the "I'm all about're not about love" WTF! It would be frustrating getting your point across that you would
a. Smack her a good one.
b. Walk away rolling your eyes.
c. Go to the lowest and insult her appearance. Say she is looking fat.

Maybe you would get a real reaction to option c.

twunty mcslore said...

She needs another really exclusive 'invite.' To a lunatic asylum.