Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Shit Girls Say

I love that she is munching chips with a tiny vodka bottle tucked in between her and her boyfriend.

Shit that me and my girlfriends say:

Where's the Xanax? You swore that there would be Xanax at this party!

You want a blow job? You're gonna have to promise me a mother-in-law free holiday.

I think she might actually eat that Hillshire Farms catalog.

Is she trying to plug the cable box into the toaster?

She's got Munchausen by Facebook proxy.

No, she's a Whirling Dervish of the Mundane!

That's so cyu-ooo-ute!

Do they still enforce child labor laws?

You are all just a bunch of Nigerian princesses.

Bless her heart!

No self respecting cat would sit still for that.

Are you mad at me? You're not mad at me, right?

I secretly love Tang.

Maybe Groupon will offer a deal on liposuction that I can jump on.

You know who you are....There are many, many more, trust me.

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