Spring Into Summer

This time of year makes me think about a few things. First of all there's no chance of snow anymore, HA. Then I start getting nostalgic and remember all those end of school parties I used to go to when I was a teen. We would sneak out, get an older sibling to buy beer, and hit the house where a party was brewing while the parents were out of town. 


Getting a buzz on and giggling with your girls while the oh-so-cool boys stand nearby, their cigarette smoke wafting into your nostrils. Everyone assumed that everyone else was more confident, experienced and worldly. You would stick with your buddies as your armor against the mean kids, or the random asshole that hated you for no good reason. Insecurity ran rampant, but you still took risks. Sometimes for attention, and sometimes to prove that you had the guts. Sometimes the only true ego boost was found in making people laugh or having the good sense to bring the latest Van Halen or Pat Benatar album to the party that you bought with your babysitting money or tips from weekend shifts at the pancake house. 


It's easy to forget that we were hot back then and we didn't even know it! Okay, I kind of knew that I was. I walked into malls and got accosted by enough 'modeling scouts' to know that I was prettier than most, but I was skinny in a time when skinny was not hot. All my friends blossomed earlier than me, perky breasted and round of hip. That was the currency back then, looking like a woman. Now it's a weird amalgamation of slender childish bodies and implanted tits and ass. This ideal has nothing to do with reality or individualism. It has everything to do with the implied standards that pop culture throws at people. I would be okay with it if these standards were health and the beauty that comes from being fit, but it isn't. 


We didn't know how good we had it, and if you are young and you are reading this, stop. Stop holding yourself up to standards that are fake and meant to keep you from concentrating on what is inside you. Absolutely no one is perfect and absolutely no one has the right to judge. You can rise above. For example, I did pretty well modeling, and this is me in high school, frizzy hair, crooked teeth and all.