Auto Tune The News

I love this stuff and could watch it all morning, but it's sunny out so I won't!

Time to plant more flowers and rip out the ivy. And then it's hockey time! Go Pens...

Nazi Prostis

There is a new book coming out called Annees Erotiques (Erotic Years) about French prostitutes and the Nazis they serviced during the occupation. I'll read it if I find it at the library but I'm no big fan of war stories so I'm not going to go out of my way to buy it. It has tons of sex stories, though, and it gives me an excuse to post half naked women.

I wonder if they shaved their heads after the war was over, like they did to those Dutch girls who slept with German soldiers in Band of Brothers. I can't even imagine what it would be like to live through a terrible war like that and what you might do in order to survive. Lying on your back doesn't seem like such a hard way to earn your baguettes and croissants. I bet they smelled, though. Hygiene wasn't what it is now 60 years ago. Plus, nobody was circumsized. Can you say gonorrhea?

New Daisy of Love Recap

Daisy of Love is no Drag Race and I'm not sure that anyone that reads my blog is actually watching this piece of trash VH1 reality show, but Flipit assigned it to me on TVgasm and I was more than happy to do it. It is a treasure trove of whoredom served on a heaping platter of loser drunk douchiosity. In other words, don't even bother watching it because I am here to do that for you and provide plenty of nasty commentary. In my mind, this is why these shows exist; so that I can make fun of them and then cry into my empty wine glass about the sorry state of television and the never ending demand from the public for lowest common denominator fast food entertainment. Read it and weep. But catch a few laughs along the way.

Here's the link:

http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/daisy-of-love/daisy-of-love-e-9585.php

Another Cute Animal

In case you didn't know, I am a total Cute Overload addict. I read the website as often as I can, have the calendar and covet most of the animals they feature. Now I can add a new one to the list- a Loris. Unfortunately our puppy would eat the little guy in two seconds flat and the older dog would scarf up what was left on the carpet. Oh well. I can always get a job at the zoo.

Food Inc.

This is the trailer for a new documentary on how the food industry has changed and basically it's an ad for Whole Foods and your local organic farmer's market. I don't know if I'll see it because I'm not sure that I really want to find out where my lettuce and strip steaks come from, or how they're treated. Ignorance is bliss.

Chelsea Handler Takes On The Karashians

The butt pump is awesome. I need one of those.

Cleveland Tourism Ad- Yeah!

Thanks, Rob.

More Than A Game Trailer

It doesn't come out until next Fall but it got a standing ovation at the Toronto Film Festival.

We get to follow the rise and struggle of Lebron and his teammates from St. Vincent-St. Mary's high school in Akron, Ohio, and I have a feeling that it might break records for a documentary.

Oh. My. God.

I am having a hard time believing that this was an accident.

It's a logo that was created for the Catholic Church's Archdiocesan Youth Commision in 1973. Unreal. I was literally staring at this with my jaw on the floor for a good ten seconds.

Craig Ferguson 4/20 Opening Number

Looks like he got into the spirit of things.

NHL Separated at Birth

I used to love the old Spy magazine. Their Separated at Birth columns were hilarious and the first of their kind. S.I. are a little harsh with some guys (Ovechkin) and too kind with others. Here's a link to Sport's Illustrated's hockey version:

http://vault.sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/gallery/featured/GAL1154532/1/index.htm

Height Impaired

They're called shoe lifts. Look into it.

iMoan

It's official. With the added feature of myMessage on your iphone, it now can do everything including get you off.

If you’re stressed or just need a quick pick-me-up, let myMassage provide you with quick relief. MyMassage will continue to vibrate if you turn the screen off while it’s running, great for situations where you don’t want your “myMassage” time to be interrupted by a distracting screen.

Fail!!!!!!

Keep it up, Yankees.

As if getting owned by the Indians on opening day weren't enough, they got crushed and humiliated yesterday to the tune of 22-4. Joy!

Geek Rap

This one made me laugh my ass off.