Friday, June 17, 2011

Each To His Own Inspiration

If you are like most people with a garden, you started in March and continue to plant, weed, prune, hack and tweak well into Fall. I'm in the 'hurry up and grow' phase of arranging planters in addition to looking for inspiration for the fringe areas of the yard. Then, I remembered: I took a ton of pictures at the Home & Garden Show last February! Inspiration reinstated!

The picture above is from the Holden Arboretum 'Alice In Wonderland' display that took 1st Prize. More after the jump.

Is that supposed to be a hookah smoking caterpillar? It looks like a slug on the planet Pandora.

Post Zombie Apocalypse Tea Party!

This may not be a popular opinion, but I am of the mind that says using the Alice theme is borderline lazy. It's a crowd pleaser, it's been Burton-ized which means it is WELL DONE. Stick a fork in it and call it a day. Plus, the whimsy is pretty commonplace at this point. Even Stretch used the theme for her 'I'm a ME ME ME Mommy' Champagne chugging birthday party for Tipsy O'Neil, or whatever her spawn is named. Stretch KILLED the idea! She stabbed it over and over and then drowned it in the Pacific. The last thing it saw was her hands clenching it's throat, her eyes maniacal and her bicycle chain teeth clacking with glee. Need I remind you?

Yay me! And all the other anorexic grifters out there! Just stay away from my rootin' tootin' macho troll husband or I'll go all Karen Carpenter on your ass!

Gotta love a golf theme. I'll skip the gator, though. My swing's bad enough without adding TERROR to it.

The green man is always cool. Too bad it's been co-opted by annoying black metal losers. I've known a few in my time, pale and earnest and perpetually depressed. They're all scared of women and hate their daddies. Speaking of- HI, Weston Cage!

Let's see. What could possibly more common than an Alice theme? Hmmm. Let me think for a second.

Why, The Wizard of Oz!

You know who killed the Wizard of Oz for me? KIDS, that's who. Other people's kids. Every time I allowed the little ankle biters into my house, they would want to watch my DVD copy of it. Now I can't hear 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' without maniacally sweeping imaginary pb&j crumbs off my couch and wistfully dreaming of a day when children are raised on farms by drill instructors, far, far away from me.

Look. A planter with a sun on it. Wow. How NOVEL.

Okay. That delicate lattice work would last five seconds with the Kamikaze birds I've got in the backyard. I'm pretty sure that's how my neighbour's Dachsund died. One of the grackles ate him for an afternoon snack.

Wow. I just realised that this stuff is NOT inspirational at all! I'd be better off  with a pot greenhouse in the back or scratching the whole idea and building a Tiki bar. 

Aw, screw it. I'll just put in a putting green.

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