Oh, the dinner party. The dinner party from HELL. Before we get into it, I just want to say a hearty and heart felt thanks to whoever does the sound editing for these shows. Isolating sentences when the conversations deteriorated into something resembling The View on speed could not have been easy. Nor was watching Faye Resnick. She looks like a snake, acts like one and I'm pretty sure her plastic surgeon is the Grinch. Look at her eyes and tell me you don't see it.
She puzzled and puzzled til her puzzler was sore.
Good news, though! The other day O.J. got beat up in jail! I wonder if he had anything electronic shoved up HIS ass?
Back to the mess.
First of all, who was ambushing who? Kyle neglected to tell Cameel that Faye was coming, one of Miss Andy's fairies whispered it in her ear anyway, and God only knows what Cameel told the psycho, I mean psychic, Allison. And the battle over who was more morally corrupt for posing in Playboy with or without lingerie? Cameel came out smelling like a rose because when she brought it up she complimented Faye. When Faye showed Cameel's pictures in the limo later, it was with malice aforethought, Kyle faux surprise and bad acting notwithstanding.
I think that Kyle wanted Faye there to do her dirty work for her but she didn't count on Allison. Oh, no. You didn't have to watch very closely when Kyle was arguing with Ms. Dubois to see who the moron was. Example of conversation-
K: You've been sitting here with a weird attitude all night!
A: A weird attitude? Wow. Then why have you been talking to me so much?
K: I was curious about you.
A: Well, you know what? You are not interesting to me AT ALL.
K: Well, you're not to me either.
Okay, which one is it? Talk about emotions on a fourth grade level. "You are such and such!"
"Well, so are you!" GAH! And the sheer intellectual laziness of claiming to be bored with a conversation when you find yourself beaten. Pathetic.
I did notice something that speaks volumes about Kyle's bashing and gossiping behind her sister's back. Cameel is the only one of these women that is nice to Kim. She takes her hand, goes out of her way to make her feel included and never disparages her. Cameel is also the only person that doesn't talk to Kyle. Coincidence? I think not. It's no freaking wonder that Kim and Kyle aren't speaking! If my sister did that to me, SABOTAGED me, because let's face it, that's exactly what Kyle did whether Kim is an alcoholic or not, if MY sister did that to me, let's just say she isn't getting any joorey in the will.
And we can argue all day about how hard it is to deal with the erratic behaviour of someone addicted to drugs and alcohol, but is Kyle so clean?
At the end of the evening, Kim was sober, Ad was holding up well, Lisa was smashed-
God, I hope she's not sitting on Giggy.
yet Stretch, Faye and Kyle weren't. It's called coke, kids and it doesn't come in a can. I was dishing with PC on Facebook this morning and I told her that Kyle lip licking and head bobbing and face straining expressions of anger reminded me of something, and then it hit me! She was acting just like the freaking coked out nasty chicks that used to troll The Palladium in the 80s looking for their next 8 ball, or at least picking out who they'd have to blow to get access to it. The over the top drama ( airplane and Champagne cork, anyone?), the inability to shut the fuck up, the paranoia, and the misplaced self confidence. It's all there, and not just in her.
Let's talk about Stretch for a moment, shall we? She sat on her bony ass all night snickering and enjoying every last minute of the drama. If there were any carnival food around, I'm sure we would have gotten Cotton Candy Part II, only this time for Kyle's benefit. But as soon as Kim called her out, this is what we got.
And some really unpleasant condescending finger pointing.
All of which Kyle is oblivious to, I might add.
SHE is the one that decides they've had enough and gets up barking at Kyle to do the same. Someone's feeling high and mighty, huh? Too bad it didn't last long. Kyle is already trying to distance herself from Stretch and who wouldn't after Cameel tells us that indeed, it was Stretch dripping her poison into Cameel's ear all along. She tells us that she did tell her that the rest of the girls were out to get her, that she did INDEED stir the pot. If Stretch is back next season, who is she going to be friends with? Maybe she can talk the Salahis into moving out west.
By the way, she had no problem spelling C-R-A-Z-Y. Go figure.
I have to hand it to Allison. As C-R-A-Z-Y as she was, she did have her friend's back. When Faye accused Cameel of lying about telling Allison about New York (insert Lisa's HUGE eyeroll here), Allison immediately answered by telling her that Cameel can fight her own battles, and when she needs her, she'll let her know. HA.
I really have to wonder about so many things now. Sometimes it's hard to keep in mind that things aren't always what they seem. This show has convinced me of that and I have had to reconsider what I thought about almost all of these women.
Bravo does it again. I honestly don't know how they are going to top this part of the franchise. It was a joy to watch and I only wish I could have recapped it more, but now I'm busy on even more levels than I was during the holidays. We'll see what happens. At the very least, I can do smaller posts so that I can talk about it with you all!
I really am going to miss these Hos! Oh well, there's always the O.C.!
And one more thing. Wear sunscreen on your chests, ladies! Looking at you in HD is like ramming your face up against a Jackson Pollock painting!