Junk Food For Your Mind

So, I was on the phone with my friend K-Bird when she brought up the subject of trashy books, something that I had no idea that she enjoyed as much as i did! There is one particular Summer when I wasn't dating anyone special and I went through my weight in cheesy library-provided biographies, like that huge one on Marlene Deitrich (which I now own) and some juicy tome by Cybil Shepherd. So, time to fess up, what's your favorite trashy book? 

Happy New Year!

I want to say Happy New Year to all of you out there, your families, your pets, your plants, your bed bugs, your Juggies, your significant others, the guy you crush on at work, the girl you're too embarrased to admit you crush on, your hopes, your dreams, your resolutions and most important, your happiness. Let's all agree just to say FUCK IT and be happy this year. If it helps any, I have your back. No time to waste on the negative, and my only resolution is to DO NO HARM. It's pretty simple when you apply it to everything.

And I love each and every one of you. And no, that does not mean that my love is watered down. It is that much stronger for having so many of you to love. Thank you for making 2010 so wonderful.

Your Twunt

People Are Great For A Reason

Remind me to tell you my Iggy Pop story one day.

Home Again

Hello, fellow drunken fools! I am back in Cleveland and happy to report that I have recovered from the holiday revelries that left me unresponsive and incoherent on the floor in front of Nana's kitchen. I am fresh and clean as a daisy, or the above floor, after Nana swiffered my drool up, and ready for the new year.

I've missed you all, and I'm eager to hear all your holiday stories, after I berate PC for allowing her Dad access to her iPad and thank JC for the calendar (half naked men! I love you, JC!). 

By the way, I intend to party for at least three more days. I'm just not sure how hard. Love you guys. Hope you had a great holiday. Xoxo 

Look What I Found!

St. Louis has this awesome store called Lukas Liquors. I walked through the door, found an aisle that was wall-to-wall Zinfandel, and laid out my sleeping bag. Just as I was taking the wine key out of my bag, I looked up and what did I see? Why, 'tis Bethenny Frankel, staring down at me! I regret to inform you that nary a bottle was missing from the display. Sadly, being a skinny girl isn't high on the list of things to do around  here. Not that the people are fat, they are just more salt of the earth and less trendy. Plus, alcohol content higher than 7% might be nice too. Seriously, who drinks Margaritas with less alcohol than Christmas Ale? NOBODY. Well, except the McSlore pre-schoolers. We don't start them on the hard stuff until they can read and write. It's a law or something.

What are YOU drinking? 

Housewives Bankruptcy Index

Someone needs to make a board game already.

Article: http://jezebel.com/5716220/the-real-housewives-bankruptcy-index

Olde Timey Space Toys

I really, really want the housewares from the exhibit. Saturn shaped bedside lamps!

Out-of-focus Man-in-the-moon teapot!

Lt. Uhuru? How is this even remotely like Lieutenant Uhuru? It looks more like Flip Wilson. FAIL.

For the enterprising future astronaut, preferably with loaded friends and relatives:

My brother had this. "Look at me, I'm tiny and I'm flying to the moon!" But first, let me slam it into my sister's face a few times..(true story)

Okay, this is more of a historical flight thingy, but still. I have no idea what it is. It looks like it might scare small children, so I included it.

THE END.

Tomorrow, we are touring barbecue joints and bungee jumping off the St. Louis Arch. Not in that order.

Omnimax Whatchamacallits Are HUGE

We went to the Science center here in St. Louis yesterday, and while it was full of slobber goblins and their enablers, we managed to have a good time in the McDonnell-Douglas Space Exhibit. 
This is the room where they run the film for the Omnimax movies, like 'Flight Yada Yada' and 'Boogers: Close-Up.' I wish I was lying, but that's what they called it. 


What? I'm not kidding. Google it if you don't believe me!

Downloading Fun

I'm at the St. Louis Bread Company (Panera) taking advantage of their free Wi-Fi and glacier quick downloading! Itunes is where I get most of the Housewives episodes and it is taking forever. In the meanwhile, here are some Mauricio pictures I grabbed a couple of weeks ago. 
Merry Christmas!

And my favorite facial expression by a Housewife EVAH!!!! Thank you, Cameel!

This Old Queen Wants To Poop On Your Holiday

Did you know that there is a Festus, Missouri? Me neither. I'm not going anywhere near it.

Merry Effing Christmas

My neighbor got burgled, ugh. I wish that I could say that I was surprised. I sure hope they don't try that shit chez McSlore. I put acid buckets over all the doors and one of those knife throwing thingies from Raiders of the lost Ark is rigged up to the side door. Uh-oh. Nobody better come to read the meters. Hmm.


I'll be very sporadically blogging, as there is only very limited Wi-Fi here on the North Pole. Sowwy!

This Is Where I Live, Folks

Strangely beautiful.

Side Splitting Pretension, In Drag!

I've been catching these videos here and there as they're posted on the internet. The drag queen is Drew Droege and he captures Chloe Sevigny's silly dead-pan demeanor perfectly. LOVE. 

Office Party- Sober or Drunk?

Quite a conundrum for a gal like me.

West Virginia's Funniest Home Videos

I am embarrassed to admit that a lot of these people are from Ohio. The sad truth is that half the single mothers south of I-80 work at Walmart and still need a WIC card to get by. I hate this place. HATE.