Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Cheap Tricks

I think I've had it with this show. My attention wanders and I keep waiting for the big Jeana show-down with Tamra that never comes. And I keep waiting. And waiting. Meanwhile, I have to watch Jimbo and Slade be pieces of shit. This is entertainment? For who, assholes and the ignoramuses that love them? Ugh. So, on to one long infomercial YET AGAIN.

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Cutting Out The Fat

Do these women think we suffer from short term memory loss? I have to ask because why else would they be such hypocrites on a weekly basis? Well, you can't fix stupid, to paraphrase Ron White Tammy Sue Bob, and you can't make what's dull interesting. Or can you? God knows I keep trying. 

Isn't there a definition for insanity in there somewhere?

Caption The Housewife, God Hates Us All Edition

That isn't just the title of a Slayer song, it's how I feel looking at this picture of Heidi Montag with Dunyelle. What the fuck, you might be asking? Well, The Daily Fail says that they are shooting a reality show with one of those Bachelor guys. I am more inclined to believe that Spencer is following them around with a Flip camera and editing the footage on his computer, or he made it up so he could make a few bucks off the tabloid pictures. Does anyone care anymore? No? YAY!

Advice From A Cartoon Mermaid

I have quite a few friends with daughters. Almost to a person, they prefer their kids to watch stuff like Toy Story or Up! instead of the unrealistic fantasy crap that Disney spews out on a regular basis. They also make sure that their children play outside and read. A LOT. Of course, all my friends are cool. DUH.


Here's Belle's take-


Thanks, Chemgal!

Real Housewives of Miami Recap: You're Not Worthy

What do you do when you have one of the most popular reality franchises in cable history? Do you coddle it, care for it, do whatever is in your power to cherish and protect it? Why, no! You ruin it by hiring a bunch of morons who wouldn't get hired to act in a third tier Telenovella!

We have a rootin' tootin' gal from Texas who sounds like a cross between Little Edie and Christy Cummings, a CUTE basketball wife, a quartet of Latina Spitfires, correction: Spitsputterers, and one crazy old bitch that I could watch all day, only I'm afraid I'll go blind.

On to this abortion, something I know plenty about.