Caption The Housewife, Little Darlings Edition

I'm making you guess who this one is!

World AIDS Day

Today is the day that I thank my lucky stars that I never got this disease, and believe me, anyone can get it. You don't have to be gay or a drug user. If you need proof, look no further than the epidemic in Africa, and the subsequent change in life expectancy, especially in Sub-Saharan regions. I have lost way too many friends to this disease. Hell, one was too many. I'm sure you have too. Here are some interesting links to read, and remind ourselves of how decimating it's been to an already dehumanized portion of our society.


From Bob's blog: http://ishouldbelaughing.blogspot.com/2010/12/today-is-world-aids-day.html
The Advocate: http://www.advocate.com/Health_and_Fitness/30_Voices_From_the_Past_30_Years/
The official website:http://www.worldaidsday.org/
The gawd awful dead celebrity awareness campaign, though who doesn't want to see a Kardashian in a coffin? :http://www.ecorazzi.com/2010/12/01/world-aids-day-2010-celebrities-die-for-keep-a-child-alive-campaign/
And Bunny's post on lame club kids. Why not? I knew club kids, now long dead from AIDS, that are still more interesting than these sad sack trolls! :http://blog.ladybunny.net/2010/11/no-wonder-clubs-are-dead.html#comments
And just like that I made a stupid joke in an AIDS post. If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about me, I don't know what will.

Segway Owner Dies in Segway Crash

I kid you not. They found the Segway and the owner of the company face down in a pond. No foul play is suspected. I blame those awful runners and bicyclists that take over our parks. One of them probably wouldn't make way, and he lost control. Or maybe he killed himself for creating one of the goofiest modes of transport EVER.

Anyhoo, it's like dying while running after writing a book on running or getting a fatal heart attack after estolling the merits of eating mostly meat and fatty food. Would never happen, right?

The cosmos has a sense of humor. Clearly.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/BUSINESS/09/27/uk.segway.death/index.html?eref=mrss_igoogle_cnn

Michigan House

Here are some photographs I took of my friend's cute and kitsch weekend home in Union pier, Michigan. It's for sale, by the way. Not including antiques, of course (unless you're easily impressed by my persistent proclamations that they are worth the extra hundred grand I will insist he add on to the price).

Hallway mirror and chiffonier- worth almost as much as the clock that sits there and doesn't tell time.
I love this kitchen. I don't remember anything that ever happens there, but a case of wine in three days will do that to you. Do gays roofie straight girls?

Mark has a thing for Chinoiserie. I do too. I will not fault him for it. He discovered happy endings in Thailand and won't shut up about it, something about their love of tapioca. Not sure. I never really listen after the third glass of Malbec.

The dining room. A place to hang your coat, drop your stuff as you come in from the outside. Have we actually eaten at the table? Why bother actually sitting down when we never stop eating or drinking the entire time we're there? That isn't completely true. We do take breaks to make bitchy comments while watching cooking shows and Tosh.0. And flash pizza delivery guys. I'm famous in Union Pier, bitches. Jealous much?

Entryway and living room beyond. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to drop stuff on Mark when he comes home. He uses the rear entrance, sadly. Always trying to stay on top of things, so to speak.

Our room when we visit. It's like sleeping in a tree house. Mark made the quilted headboard himself. Mr. McSlore and I helped decorate it, but you need one of those fancy CSI blue lights to see the pretty designs. Sorry.

The house really is for sale. If you're interested in owning a beautiful house an hour and a half outside of Chicago in Harbor Country, email me. I'll give you all the details. I'm sure he'll throw the headboard in with the listed price, if you ask real nice.

My Puppy Army

This is how I feel right now. We've had five dogs for three weeks out of the last four, and I am beginning to lose my mind. It's like the house burned down and I had to move in with the Bumpus's. Throw in a puppy with a UTI that needs to be let out every fifteen minutes and a Corgie mix who thinks that you are his personal slave and you have all the makings of serious writer's block. The good news- I have a new sense of respect for my mother and her ability to raise five kids. The bad news? I may give in to my urge not to lock the gate the next time I let them out to pee.

Hold Everything

If you haven't crank called someone you are either Amish with no access to a phone or a damn liar.
I'd share my stories if I could. The only problem is that I would end up with some serious lawsuits on my hands and it is really hard to explain to people why it was a good idea to get someone so confused and hoodwinked that the local looney bin started to look like a good idea. A REALLY good idea if you get my drift. Yes, I got someone sent to a mental hospital. What?! Don't judge. She came from there in the first place! It's not like it was something new for her. Hell, she probably missed the applesauce and creamed corn, not to mention the fabulous Xanax.
Fine downers do not grow on trees, people. You have to earn them.