Mature Martha

Here's a soap commercial with a 15 year old Martha Stewart playing house with a much older man. She looks older, so I'm not creeped out by it. Not as much as I would be if she looked 15. Still, it's just another example of the inappropriate circumstances the biz has no problems putting young girls in. It's been going on forever, not just since 1956.

From World of Wonder

The Only Cult Chloe Belongs To Is One Of Personality

Don't make Chloe a Sister Wife. Please, God, NO! She'll start wearing Mom jeans un-ironically! 

TGIF With A Good Little Soldier

NOT.

Sorry I forgot to put this up yesterday. I was too busy being blonde.

Caption The Housewife, Mom Jeans Edition

The Bethenny pic wasn't even remotely funny, so here's one of a teen Madriana looking all Menudo's big sister and whatnot. Yikes!

Robot Professor

Okay, I'm not giving you a nsfw warning, rather a nsfeco. Not suitable for the easily creeped out.

Plush Girlfriends

I've seen Real dolls before and those are pretty frightening. What I didn't know was that there is also a market for high end plush dolls that run around $700. They market it as being a teddy bear for grown ass men, but I don't know anyone that boinks their teddy bear, so take that with a grain of salt.


Website here, and a slightly NSFW picture after the jump:
http://www.teddy-babes.com/home.html

Britney Spears And The Letter 'L'

I never noticed how she exaggerates her tongue motions when singing the letter 'L.' Please tell me that a gay guy did this and not a perv. Thanks.

It gets gross after a while, no?

I Feel A Horror Movie Coming

Real Dolls, watch them get made!

Honey Pie from California is a place. on Vimeo.

He Likes His Women Dead

Dead girls don't put up a fight, they don't say no and you needn't take them out to dinner or worry about winning them over with your sparkling personality.

What you do need to worry about is where to hide those pesky bodies. Especially if you don't eat them like Jeffrey Dahlmer did. So, Anthony Sowell buried them in the back yard, left them to rot in the attic and wrapped their skulls in paper in the basement. That means that he lived in close proximity to the death he created on a constant basis. Maybe he liked it that way, I'm not sure that I want to know.

What will probaby happen is that people from his childhood will pop up and have things to say about their impressions of him, what he was like with girls and if he started out torturing animals. You have to take it with a grain of salt since some people will do anything for their five seconds on the evening news.

This is so depressing but isn't it fitting that the police caught him on Halloween? And just a few days before that he was up to his usual shit, getting a girl drunk in his house and attacking her with the intent to rape and kill. Thank God that one managed to get away.

The saddest part? All those families visiting the missing person's station that they set up down the street, hoping that one of the bodies is their missing loved one, just for some answers and maybe some closure.

By the way, we are up to ten bodies now. All this just a few miles from our home. Read the sex offender list from your neighborhood, people. There are plenty of sickos out there and they are not just in Ohio, though we do seem more adept than other states at creating them.

Replace Human Contact With A Warm Heaving Blob

Some guy is going to figure out how to fuck that thing, just you wait and see.

Or is that the point? I'm confused. And scared.

Funktionide Part II from eltopo on Vimeo.

Delightful Holiday Musical to Share With Your Loved Ones

It's Good Friday. Are You Atoning For Your Sins?

Because if you're not, spanking Jesus can help you with that.

Pocket Pussy Dispenser

I've always had a strong suspician that Germans are uber-kinky, but this is just skanky. You can buy a pretend coochie from a machine in the men's bathroom for only 4 Euros. Why God, why???

Creepy Local Cleveland Commercial

This guy's voice is the stuff of pedophile rape nightmares. I heard that he had cancer and that's why he sounds like a pervert but why not get someone else to talk for you? Why? Because everyone knows that weirdness gets a lot more attention than some run-of-the-mill generic blahness that we hear every day on the TV. He does have over 200,000 hits on YouTube, so maybe he's a marketing genius.