Tom Ford Loves Tom Ford

This has been popping up on the internet today, with loads of people making fun of him, his accent, his self absorption. Well, I think it's great. I love his face and his style. I guess haters gonna hate. 


Jealous bitches. Who among you would not get on that if the opportunity arose? PLEASE.

I, Me, Tom Ford. I from Steamy Window Productions on Vimeo.

Chloe Seven-KNEE's Closet

I think she's cute. Pretentiously cute, but cute nonetheless. I like that she can laugh at herself. Also, I never noticed that she has this little vocal tick where she kinda 'tsks' after a sentence. Does Drew do that in his parodies? Anyway, she would make a perfect flapper and I think that she should be playing Daisy in The Great Gatsby, not Carey Mulligan. 


Perhaps Carey is an excellent actress but she just doesn't have IT, you know? Chloe has IT. I kinda love her in a healthy girl crush kind of way.

At Home with Chloë Sevigny: Part 1 from Opening Ceremony on Vimeo.

More Is More

What assezzeries will you be rocking this fall? I'm going with panties.

TGIF With Your Tutorial On How To Dress Punk-Ish!

Where does World of Wonder come up with this stuff?

Tom Ford, Fall 2011

Watching this almost makes me want to be pale again! ALMOST. I love the red and gold make-up, though on me it would look a tad, um....Tammy Faye. Anna Piaggi, IF I'm lucky. Your 40s aren't usually the right time to start experimenting. No eyebrow shaving or huge blonde hair for me. Those days are LONG gone. These days you will find me in a golf skirt and ponytail. In Fall- tights and sweaters. Bottoms are optional and depend on whether I am going out, or if Mr. McSlore is home.


I love his designs, always have. He's also HELLA hot. Voila:

Look at him being all queen-y in the front row of a fashion show. Oh my God, I love him so. He always has that tiny smile and you can just tell that he loves to share naughty stories and insider gossip, with the right people, of course. 

How I would love to be one of those people. We share the same birthday and both worked in the fashion biz. Does that count?

Caption The Housewife, Polka Don't Edition

Crackie at the Kentucky Derby. At least she covered up her boobs this time!

Caption The Housewife, Who Is Better Upholstered? Edition

Nice bridesmaid shoes, you two.

What A Wacky Wedding

Kate and Wills got married. It was unbelievable upper crusty and foo-foo fabulous! Pfft. Princess Kate of the Anorexics wore a stunningly simple gown which was no surprise at all considering what a Sloane Ranger she is.

If I had any criticism at all, it would be that no one fed her leading up to the big day. Her figure wasn't THAT bad but her face was rather wan. Overall, I give the look a hearty meh.

Fashion-wise, there were some mis-steps, to put it mildly, and why do some of the women feel the need to glue a hat to their forehead? That trend needs to DIE before this happens. Just look at Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice-

Now I know who got all the looks in the family.

I have no idea why they did that. Does their stylist hate them? I know why Tara Palmer Tomkinson wore hers, to distract from her collapsed coke nose. Gah, why do know that and why do I read horribly backwards and misogynistic Daily Fail?

So that's where Tinky-Winky went!

Even Posh got in on the act, pairing hers with a funeral tablecloth.

Okay, Posh who?

To be fair, no one really notices her when he's around. Thank God he used a comb today and didn't decide to wear that stupid shoelace headband he sports in Galaxy games. Once again, why do I even know this? 

The queen was all smiles in yellow, Sir Elton looked the same as everyone else in his morning suit and this lady took the largest orange peony she could find and plastered it to the side of her head.

Here's one look I loved (thanks for reminding me, tnbelle!), Zara Phillips. She has a cute belted coat and I LOVE the shoes. They aren't sky high Louboutins, nor do they have a stripper heel. Fancy that!

British ladies and their hats. You will have to pry them from their cold dead heads. A hundred years from now we'll all be wearing space suits and they'll still be gluing giant gumdrops and dead buzzards onto their skulls. 

Ta ta, t'ra!

Pictures from The Daily Mail

Watch Alex Model

And listen to her contradict herself!

Caption The Housewife, I'm With Smartypants Edition

Are they selling these t-shirts now? I sure hope they benefit a charity, like helpsimongetajob.com.

Some 80s Nostalgia

Scenes from a mall. Remember when you could smoke pretty much everywhere? Those days are long gone.

Pro-Ana Or Just Silly

Do you remember a couple years back when Kate Moss said those exact words? Do you think she was joking? Probably only half. Now there's a company in the UK called Zazzle that is marketing these t-shirts to girls of all ages. I think it's fine in a Spencer Gifts kind of way, but not to a tween, which this girl clearly is. With the amount of eating disorders out there, it's pretty irresponsible, and let's not leave the infants out!

So, funny or in terrible taste?

Caption The Housewife, HATS Edition

I don't know who the other lady is, but this is Marysol looking all gussied up for a super social luncheon in South Floor-ree-duh. I thought it was cute and Spring-y and you could all make jokes about lampshades, etc.


Why do I have this sudden craving for Good n Plenty?

Caption The Housewife, Thing One & Thing Two

I totally stole that header from Chateau Thombeau. Love that site. Linky in my blog roll.

Beauty Amongst The Muck

Oh, how I love this window at Anthropologie at Eton Place in Woodmere.

I saw this creation as we pulled up and had to get a closer look.

Dinner plate size pieces of crepe paper formed and shaped and manipulated into waves that eventually become a Victorian gown of such creativity that my first thought was that it was on loan from the Met. I LOVE this, even though Mr. McSlore said that the paper looked like coffee filters. What difference does it make? 

One of my favorite dresses from Project Runway was Michael's coffee filter dress from Season 3.

Update: I found a picture. I wasn't a huge fan of this model but I loved the dress. By the way, I thought Laura should have won. HATED Jeffrey. I know, let it go. 

Stiletto Skates

These skates are from Dsquared2. These skates are wicked retarded. These skates must be part of someone's cruel plan to kill off fashionistas eager to show that they can do ANYTHING in heels, even a triple lutz. I sit here and await the first Youtube videos of said fashionistas, but I bet a drag queen takes up the challenge first.

Caption The Housewife, Hookers of Park Avenue Edition

Mallard Mouth and Gretchen shop in New York last week. Their look is SO Manhattan Sophisticate. What, they're wearing black!

Who Should Replace Galliano?

Jezebel has an article with some interesting ideas: http://jezebel.com/#!5775767/who-will-replace-galliano-at-dior, but for me there is only one perfect answer:

Chris March! Oh, how I've missed him.  

Galliano and Fascism

John Galliano got fired from his head designing position at Dior for making racist comments in a Parisian bistro. Shocking.


Quite frankly, fashion is fascist, so why are we surprised? It's an industry that goes unchecked and unmonitored by anyone, save the garment worker's union and even that can be a slippery slope. Kathy Lee sweat shops, anyone? 
It treats it's most creative minds, and make no mistake, John Galliano is at the very top in terms of talent, like dictators that are above the fray in terms of conduct and opinion. It values one's looks above all else and encourages eating disorders and a perpetual state of adolescence. Honestly, though I could give a rat's ass what the guy thinks, this is just an example of the thinking that permeates that world.


Here's the video in case you haven't seen it:


Some people are saying that he should be able to say whatever he wants on his own time. I don't buy it. It simply does not hold water in an industry that uses branding as a way of life. You must have the suit, the scarf, the earrings, the purse. 'The look' for lack of a better word, and that look is almost always one of wealth and priveledge, above the common hoard. You need look no further than Coco Chanel herself who was a Nazi sympathizer and used her Aryan roots to gain sole control of her empire since pre-war it was partially owned by Jews.


Models represent the brand. Some are 'Ambassadors of Wool,' even. Designers turn their entire lives into one giant product placement. Look at Ralph Lauren, for goodness sakes. He practically reinvented the WASP! 


I guess the question now becomes, will he go to rehab, the image cure-all of our times? One thing is for certain, the racist memes are already up.

Here's some of his menswear. Hitler or Chaplin? You decide.

Update: That didn't take long! http://jezebel.com/#!5774394/galliano-heads-to-rehab-while-his-friends-play-dumb

Festive Oven Gloves by Sprockets

You can touch my monkey with them.