Two Gay Shit People Say

Now let this be the end of it!

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Hugs to Thugs

So, THAT'S who the thug in the cocktail dress is! I had a feeling it was LuLu, with all her aggressive behaviour towards Ramona. We have talked about how she stands over the poor woman trying to intimidate with her much larger size and glamazon height. Well, this week it got even worse! I think she's still pissed about what Mario said in the Hamptons last year, the whole 'countless' remark that drove her nutty with righteous indignation. I am pretty righteously indignant myself, just for different reasons.

Stop trying to make Ramona look like an alcoholic!

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Bumbling Blundering Artless Wonders

Here we go again! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Much has changed except for the bile that rises in my throat whenever Jill shows up. I cannot stand that woman. I can honestly say that there isn't one person on any of these shows that pisses me off more, and why is she back anyway? It sure isn't to redeem herself because she's the same exact bitch as last year, perhaps even more unapologetic, if that's even possible!

Let's get reacquainted, shall we?

Stiletto Skates

These skates are from Dsquared2. These skates are wicked retarded. These skates must be part of someone's cruel plan to kill off fashionistas eager to show that they can do ANYTHING in heels, even a triple lutz. I sit here and await the first Youtube videos of said fashionistas, but I bet a drag queen takes up the challenge first.

Home Again

Hello, fellow drunken fools! I am back in Cleveland and happy to report that I have recovered from the holiday revelries that left me unresponsive and incoherent on the floor in front of Nana's kitchen. I am fresh and clean as a daisy, or the above floor, after Nana swiffered my drool up, and ready for the new year.

I've missed you all, and I'm eager to hear all your holiday stories, after I berate PC for allowing her Dad access to her iPad and thank JC for the calendar (half naked men! I love you, JC!). 

By the way, I intend to party for at least three more days. I'm just not sure how hard. Love you guys. Hope you had a great holiday. Xoxo 

80s Mauricio!

He loves music. He loves the Latin rhythms of his native Meh-he-coh. 

Then one day, while listening to Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam, he happened upon this siren on the beaches of Cancun.

They shared some ludes and washed it down with Mezcal and caught Back to the Future at the local movie house where they made out and Mauricio ran his fingers through her excitingly multi-hued tresses. He moved to New York with her where he became the next Donald Trump and she paid German nannies to carry their babies. Meanwhile, Kyle married Simon Barney, thereby saving him from a lifetime of misery from Tamra.

everybody wins!

A Year Later

I almost forgot! Mr. McSlore and I quit smoking a year ago July 19th. I don't even miss it. Sometimes I light up in my dreams, then immediately put it out in disgust.

Those first days were HELL but it was one of the smartest things I ever did, other than moving to NY with Billy and Kathy, and saying, "what the hell?" whenever something outlandish was suggested.We should all say "what the hell?" more often, except for doing reality shows. Leave that to the professionals who have no souls or conscience.

And let me ask you this- why is it that Lady Bunny doesn't have her own show? Did you see her on Drag U? Such elegance and refined glamour. Miss Andy is missing the boat with that one. I can see the credits rolling on Bravo now- Real Ugly Housecoats of The Meatpacking District. RuPaul can do the reunion specials and Bunny will have it out with Tammie Brown and Dame Edna and Joan Rivers can act as fashion police at all the step & repeats.

What's that, you say? Joan's not a drag queen? Don't be silly.

By the way, the picture is of me lighting up my very last cigarette. Yikes!