Haunted House Hilarity

My neighbour died. I need a good laugh. R.I.P. John, you old coot. He was a hilarious letch and he will be missed. Somewhere in heaven he is watching hockey and staring down Mary Magdelene's dress.

Ad and Stretch Scare The Kiddies

This is what they wore for Halloween. How on earth did I miss this? Looks like I'm going to have to pull a Zarin and set up some Google alerts. Yikes!

And as far as I'm concerned, dressing up like a sexy pirate, or cop, or sanitation engineer, what have you, is only okay if you are a guy. Don't they look like drag queens, anyway? On second thought, no. Drag queens have better skill with the make-up box.

And look, a bonus!

It's the rootin' tootin' Texas cowgeek! He's drinkin' manly beer and everthing!

Bruce Banner's Puppy

Halloween Chez McSlore

Ghost Stories, Please

I've only had a couple of run-ins with phenomena that could be interpreted as ghostly. One happened so long ago, that the memory is fuzzy at best. It involved a locked room in the home we were renting in Kent when I was three or four. The landlady stored some of her belongings up there, including a huge old sleigh bed. Why she would trust them to remain unharmed in a house with five children in it was beyond me. Well, she had met my father, after all. His solution to every transgression involved either a belt or worse, the silent treatment.


One day, in the long dog days of Summer when you can barely move, the heat is so bad, my sister came down the stairs all breathless and white. She was a sneaky little fucker and had broken into the locked room in the attic. I followed her to the door which she opened to reveal a bunch of boxes and a perfectly ordinary rocking chair. Only it was rocking. And no one was sitting in it. And the windows were closed so no breeze entered the room. The really creepy part was the fact that the floorboards in front of it were creaking, as if someone was sitting there pushing off with their feet. Needless to say, we went shrieking down the stairs. This is why I am the way I am today. Or it could have been the belt. It's a toss-up.


The only other time I remember, other than some freaky shit in a Brownstone in Brooklyn, was when I got an attic door slammed shut in my face by a jealous female ghost. It was in an old house in Medina that had been part of the underground railroad in the 19th century. The building had been converted into the law firm where my ex was not yet partner. They say the lady had wanted to marry someone that her mother did not approve of, so she died a spinster. You know, the usual romantic ideal of the sad gothic chick who can't make it to heaven because her doll got lost or something. Wah. 


She would do the usual light flickering and object moving but I'm pretty sure that I was the first person she actually hated. A guy's gal, she was, just like Camille! So, if you have any stories you'd like to share, I'd love to hear them. Happy Halloween, everybody! 

Boo!

Last year we gave away 12 pounds of candy. The year before that, we bought bags and bags of fruit roll-ups to pass out. All our friends warned us that if we didn't give out something more candy-ish we were going to get egged. Well, guess what? All they wanted were the fruit roll-ups! They wouldn't even touch the Snickers or the Butterfingers.
Now I can't even find them anywhere. Bummer. I guess the kids will just have to make due with all that leftover Krackel.

Too Big To Melt With A Lighter

Great costume idea.

Last Minute Costume Ideas

Best...Halloween...Costume...Evah

Which makes me a total nerd but shit! He actually transforms!

Vampire Pacifier

For the Twihard/teen mothers out there, or stick it in your toddler's mouth when you hear that doorbell ring to piss off all the Jehovahs that bother you on an almost daily basis.

I'm not lying. They were here this morning and if I had one I would have worn it. Maybe I should put a pentagram above the door or answer unwelcome callers with fake blood on my hands or in an SS uniform or a nun's habit? Any ideas? Help!

They are driving me mad, especially since they come in the morning when I am on the couch by the window next to the front door and they can see me when they walk up. Damn bible thumpers.....next time they come to my door they better be holding a check from Ed McMahon or I'm getting out the shotgun.

At first glance I thought that this was another fabulous product from Billy but on closer inspection it says Billy Bob, which is almost as awesome. You can buy them on Amazon.

This Explains A Lot

Like Mother, Like Daughter

I can't get over how alike these two are. Same size, same face, same white skin and oh yeah, the crazy cat lady clothes. Do you think that they have a rivalry going with how many different patterns they can include in their outfits every day? And is some of that stuff just safety pinned on? They look like they're auditioning for the remake of Hocus Pocus.

I know I'm being mean but I also kind of love them. They are a breath of fresh air with all these botoxed inflateable dolls running around Hollywood in their Leger dresses and Leboutins. I would totally stop at their house for Halloween candy.

What Nerds Do in the Basement After Their Mom Takes Away Their XBox

How much do you want to bet that this dude is already working on his costume for next Halloween?

FAIL!!!!

Hillary Duff dressed up as Angelina Jolie for Halloween.

She would have made a more convincing Mr. Ed.

Her hockey player boyfriend isn't bad, but Brad Pitt he ain't.

Best Baby Costume

More Fabulous Costumes

David Kirsch and Heidi Klum

My Favorite Horror Movie Ever and Here's the Entire Video

Not For the Kiddies

Hellraiser, hell yeah

Always the Classiest

Is that ass for real?

That's it. I'm gonna go as Coco's ass.

Always the Best

Heidi Klum always has the most fabulously done costumes for Halloween, but as great as her kitty is this year, nothing can top the serpent in the apple that she did 2 years ago.

Oh, and I changed my mind. I'm gonna dress up as Dennis Kucinich.