Therapy With Kennedy

She can pretend Daddy is still alive and that all those clay people are Mommy Stretch, and Mommy's many personalities. Bulimic Mommy, Drunk Mommy, Oklahoma-On-Your-Ass Mommy, Grifter Mommy. Why, the list goes on and on!

That Pretty Much Sums It Up

And I'm pretty sure that most kids feel the same way. Two guys married each other? Meh. Ping Pong? AWESOME.

Caption The Beauty Queen: Mah Ni-Ni Is Mah Crack Edition

I can't help it. I love this child.

Little Thor

Yeah, it's a rip-off of the Vader VW commercial, but it's still cute. The actual movie opens May 6th starring Chris Hemsworth and Anthony Hopkins as Odin. They're filming The Avengers here in Cleveland this Summer and I'm applying for some extra work. It's not so I can slink around the set getting pictures of RDJ or Jeremy Renner or anything. I need the money for our dog accessory start-up, I swear!

Eff You, Snow Miser!

He must really, really like us this year. He just won't leave! It seems to be never ending at this point. I took the above picture back on March 5th. Guess what? That snowpocalyptic ski hill from behind Target in University Heights? It's STILL THERE. It has shrunk maybe six feet all the way around but it's still there. God knows how many other shopping carts are hidden in there, and there's an elementary school nearby so I won't be surprised if they pull an entire Boy Scout troupe of frozen snot nosed third graders out of the pile in May. 


And yes, I believe that the snow mountain will still be there in May. Hell, it might still be there in JUNE if this year is anything to go by.

Outrageous Kid's Parties!

First of all, TLC needs to change the name of their network or stop showing pure unadulterated trash like this! A $12,000 party for your hillbilly trash kid? What the? Save that money and get this kid some braces and an elocution coach. 


Second of all, who in the fuck names their kid 'Aniston?'  Angelina Jolie haters, I presume? I wish I hadn't seen this. It makes me stabby. 

By the way, that girl is retarded. I've got ten year old shoes with more brains.
Here's the link if the video wasn't working- here

You Shouldn't Have Shared That Turkey Sandwich

It's a Youtube kind of day.

THIS, On the Other Hand, IS Funny

Maybe they should hire this kid to host SNL.

For My Toddlers & Tiaras Bitches!

This Kimmel skit is so much better than that shitty fake commercial with Lohan. That shit SUCKED. It was lazy, the entire premise of humping as exercise was tired and I don't understand how you can have that many famous women in one sketch and not have even one funny close-up. So disappointing, but Tom Hanks. What can I say?

The Inevitable Parody

Pure Joy

Thanks, Terese! Sometimes I forget how cute kids can be.

How Do I Say This Delicately

PMS SUCKS.

Add to that the fact that every muscle in my waistline hurts because I tried to demolish several golf balls yesterday. I need to do yoga again. 
Big dummy.
The good news? The dogs slept through the night. The bad news? I still woke up with a uterus.


And how do I get this gif to work? Joe? Anyone? pfft. 

Housewives Reinterpreted By Children

They act like five year olds half the time anyway.

Ohio Kids Reinterpreting Down

I would love to find out in the future that one of these kids became the next Trent Reznor.

From last Fall.

Little Girl Super Fan

This is how I feel about Eddie Izzard. I have weird taste, I know.

Kick Ass Hit Girl Trailer

There is a tiny uproar in the media over the character of Hit Girl in the new movie Kick Ass. Some say it's just as inappropriate for a pre-teen girl to engage in comic book style violence as it is to show her sexualised in any way. All I have to ask is- would it be any better if it was Hit Boy? Plus, it was a complete shocker to hear words like 'cunts' and 'fuck' come out of her mouth. I'll wait until I see it to pass any sort of judgement on the film but I have to be honest. I laughed. At least she's killing bad guys, right?

Bitches

Whatever bitch wrote this list of bitches is my kind of bitch.

Dakota's Endlessly Fubar Teefs

That headgear looks NASTY.

This Is What Happens When You Throw Your Police Cars Behind The Couch

Did I mention that it's cute video posting day?

So, What Did YOU Do This Christmas?

This guy put a camera on his remotely operated plane and let his kids shoot fireworks at it, set to a song by AC/DC, ftw!

Also, he's an unemployed chemical engineer, so hire him. Maybe he'll let you shoot fireworks at his kids and film it.