Real housewives of New York City Recap: Heads Will Loll

Hey, all! Jill the evil bitch is back! Not that she was ever really gone in the first place. She just tried to wreak havoc behind the scenes, failed, and is now regurgitating blogger lines, Tammy Sue style. Remember last year when I said, in reference to Jill, that saying something doesn't make it so? Well, I should be so proud and flattered because she used that line against Ramona. Stop stealing my material, Jill! I work hard on this shit!

Should I send her an invoice?

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: It Takes Discipline

Whether you are growing a successful business or trying to make your marriage last, you need a healthy dose of hard work and discipline, not to mention a mean left. 

Oh, Crackie! How we could have used your spanking talents when Slurry's kids were running amok! Don't let it go to waste again. Take a swing at the producers next time and wake them up into writing some decent scenarios. I am nodding off over here!

*Yawn* 

I swear the dog fell off the bed while we were watching. The thud almost drowned out the other dog's snores.

Real housewives of New York City Recap: Bumbling Blundering Artless Wonders

Here we go again! I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Much has changed except for the bile that rises in my throat whenever Jill shows up. I cannot stand that woman. I can honestly say that there isn't one person on any of these shows that pisses me off more, and why is she back anyway? It sure isn't to redeem herself because she's the same exact bitch as last year, perhaps even more unapologetic, if that's even possible!

Let's get reacquainted, shall we?

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: The Many Faces Of A Crackie

Yep, that's pretty much the extent of what was entertaining about this episode, Crackie's facial expressions. Why, she's the Jim Carey of Coto de Caca! Maybe she should give up the insurance biz and open up a pet detective agency.

God knows she's good at finding dogs!

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Strangerize in Paradize

If you had asked me a month ago who my favorite Orange County housewife was, I would have said Gretchen in a heartbeat. As soon as I knew that Jeana was leaving, I put all my eggs in her basket, a HUGE mistake. She's just as bad as the rest of them, only she was made likable by playing the good guy to Tamra's big, bad bitch. If only these women would just BE, instead of trying to appear as something they're not, like happily married to a sleazeball!

But at least you accessorize him so well!

The more someone insists on something, the more I'm inclined to see it as a cry for help. Bravo, bring back my fun bitches, this is just funny, I mean sad!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: A Guise Girl

When you hear a woman say that she doesn't have many girlfriends, do alarm bells go off? They do for me. The excuses vary, from saying that women are vicious to other women, to claiming to like sports (and only guys like sports, right?...ASS), to just never having met another girl that they felt they could trust. Why is this such utter bullshit to me? Because there is no way that you reach your 40s without realizing that people should be judged on an individual basis, not lumped into a group. Not to mention, how do you get through the really tough times without your girlfriends (or gay friends) to help you? After a certain age, it doesn't add up. Oh, screw the pop psychology, Camille is a conniving cheater who drove her husband away and we're all thinking it, so what the Hell. I'll say it.
Let's get to the highjinks after the jump.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Ritzy Ditzes and the Clowns That Fund Them

Welcome back to yet another edition of fakery and fuckery. How many franchises are there now, 6? Some busted, some played out, and then there's this one. It is on a whole other level. Don't believe me? Let's take a look at the bitches after the jump.