Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Unleashed and Untethered

Once again we are drawn into the saga of spin controlling lives. Tamra wants you to believe that she is the Tina Turner of our times while Mallard is trying to convince us that the reason she's allowed to go places without Jimbo isn't because this is the only steady paycheck they're bringing in. Good thing we're all too smart to fall for it, right?

Bad thing Tamra has such good reflexes, though. So close, Simon. So close!

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Scissor Sisters

It finally got good this week, I must say! We have the all-too-brief return of Jeana and a scene with Slurry where her presence is completely inconsequential, kind of like the rest of her life. Then we find out that Tammy Sue Bob was done with her marriage a little sooner than we originally thought. Simon must be so happy this week! Somebody better hide all the dog leashes in Orange County..

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Cutting Out The Fat

Do these women think we suffer from short term memory loss? I have to ask because why else would they be such hypocrites on a weekly basis? Well, you can't fix stupid, to paraphrase Ron White Tammy Sue Bob, and you can't make what's dull interesting. Or can you? God knows I keep trying. 

Isn't there a definition for insanity in there somewhere?

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Jockeying For Position

Like in any good horse race, the fillies of Orange County are sizing each other up and trying to maintain whatever position they have while keeping from falling on their faces and having to be shot. It is not pretty. Actually, it's downright UGLY, just like Tamra's wedding dress, and with boxes just as hideous, I presume.

Let's head out to the track and try not to fall asleep on our mares!

In Water Fowl News..

Since none of you asked and even fewer of you care, I thought you'd like to see a photo of Mallard Mouth and the Future Gold Digging Twins along with Pauly D 2024.

Here she is with the Pawn Preacher on the cover of an OC Parenting *cough* magazine. 

You get extra points if you noticed that this magazine came out the same month as the, "Oopsy! I got drunk and the baby stroller fell in the pool!" incident. Is it wrong for me to hope that the Bravo cameras were there that day?

I saved the best for last. Someone at TopStalker grabbed a photo of her shopping at the local A&P dressed like a nun.

And there you have it! All caught up.