One Step Closer To Ruling The World

For Chemgal, of course!

The Easter Bunny Pooped All Over These Poor People's Yard

If you live in the Cleveland area like Mr. McSlore and myself, you picked up your Sunday paper only to see a picture of this lunatic's home on the front page of the Metro section. We had to go to Euclid to see the M-I-L, and I made my baby drive past the house. I believe that the couple's expressions reflect the fact that Napa was barking at them like a maniac, or it could have been because I rolled down the window and yelled, "Get a hobby," in honor of Bethenny Frankel Hoppy.

Seriously, do you know how many rounds of golf I could enjoy for the price of all that sherbet colored crap? And the neighbours must LOVE them. Cars go up and down the street all damn day and then they get out and walk all over everyone's yard. It's a good thing they don't live near us. We have a shotgun in the house, and Mr. Mcslore is always saying how the world is over-populated, if you get my drift.

Need To Score?

There's an App for that.

I'm going to go paint now. I feel like the web is punking me today.

Food Inc.

This is the trailer for a new documentary on how the food industry has changed and basically it's an ad for Whole Foods and your local organic farmer's market. I don't know if I'll see it because I'm not sure that I really want to find out where my lettuce and strip steaks come from, or how they're treated. Ignorance is bliss.

Cleveland Tourism Ad- Yeah!

Thanks, Rob.

Alfie Will Be 30 When His Daughter Graduates High School

I saw this story in the Daily Mail this morning. A 12 year old boy, barely 4 feet tall, knocked up a 14 year old in his neighborhood. She just had the little girl yesterday. They kept the pregnancy secret until the girl's mom noticed her expanding belly. They are now 13 and 15 which would be a perfectly acceptable age to raise a kid 3,000 years ago in Mesopotamia. He'll be walking her to kundergarten on his way to High School. His own father has 9 children, the girl has 5 brothers and an unemployed father and they both live in Council flats (subsidized housing). Alfie has been to the hospital every day and now keeps a school uniform at his baby's momma's house so he can change in the morning after seeing his daughter. How long do you think that is going to last? How long before the PlayStation looks a lot more inviting than a poopy diaper? Maybe his friends will think that he's a stud for having a kid that young. I really don't know what culture is like in Eastbourne, England but I'm willing to bet that the poor mom will be labeled a slut until she's out of her teens. It should be okay though. She's only two years younger than Bristol Palin so no big deal, right?

Child Pornography Laws Weren't Created for This

Every teen with a camera phone seems to use it to send provacative pictures to friends and crushes on a regular basis. Nothing new, right? Hell, I'm hardly a teen and I've done it. Now some nosey Nellies have gotten their panties in a bunch and are trying to sue some kids for having naughty pics on their phones. Using child pornography laws. Against children. Wtf?

Read it here;

http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2009/01/kids.html

Don't Eat Shark Fin Soup!

Who could have guessed that we'd be on the brink of the extinction of certain species of sharks?! Well, that is exactly what is happening because of the exploding Chinese economy and it's burgeoning middle class.

Don't forget, the shark has been on this planet for millions of years, they roamed the oceans before Dinosaurs walked the earth and the ecosystem of our oceans depend upon this predator to stay in balance. So why were 100 million of them killed in the last year alone? For $500 a pound, that's why.

It's a win-win for the fisherman because all they need is the fin so they just throw the rest of the shark carcass overboard plus they are making a killing because the soup that is made from the fin is considered a delicacy that more and more Chinese can afford.

Do you know how many of us humans get killed by sharks every year? 10. Maybe they should start killing more people. Chinese people.

No More Girl Parts

We have to go pick the puppy up now because she got fixed today. She's the baby so I'm a little freaked that she will look up at me and think, "You bitch! Why?! What did I ever do to you?! I would've stopped chasing squirrels eventually, and don't I hug and kiss you a lot?!"

This will be fun. We tried putting a lampshade on her to prepare her for the inevitable and she tore it off WITH HER COLLAR in 30 SECONDS FLAT! We are screwed.

National City to Lay off 4,000

The Cleveland bank posted it's 5th quarter of loses this month. So watch your back at the ATM, especially if some Dick Harper/William Foster type is standing behind you.