It's Christmas

Hubby in his Wayne Rooney mask. He's my favorite soccer player. NO, WE ARE NOT ROLE PLAYING LATER. Just want to make sure that's clear.


Hope your day is great and no one throws up on the dog. I'm having a pretty good one, albeit a trifle hungover, and we all know the cure for that- more drinking!


Only one week til Mob Wives....Merry Christmas, bitches!

Merry (?) Christmas From Lady Bunny

Right back atcha, Bunyon!

My Tree

For the third year in a row, we have done an Asian themed Christmas tree. Finally this year we have found enough decorations so that it doesn't look half decorated. The strings of plastic firecrackers were the best find of all because they filled the tree up so nicely and gave it a more cohesive feel. Thank goodness for World Market, which is also where I found this cute golden Buddha-

More decorations after the jump.

Kids Getting Bad Presents

I love the little boy who tells his sister that she should appreciate her half eaten sandwich. Little shit!


Try not to laugh. I dare you.

Ho, Ho, Hos

I don't post very often anymore about the Housewives of Wherever, or as I like to call these shows, Day of the Locusts Part II, but I saw this photo and just had to put it up.

What is that body language between Lisa and Kyle about? Lisa looks like she thinks Kyle's hideousness might rub off on her. Her face is a mask of barely concealed disgust! Oh, those rich Brits. When they aren't being bawdy and facetious, they seem to be sitting on piles of repressed feelings. What do you think? Is this the end of the line for this friendship, and what in Paris Hell is Kyle wearing? Her niece's hand me downs, or is it Taylor's skin?

Sometimes More Is Too Much

On our way home from La Dolce Vita in Little Italy (their Fettucini Fellini is to die for), I made Mr. McSlore stop the car so I could get a picture of this enormous tree in front of one of the mansions here in Cleveland Heights. It's kind of a mess, right? It completely dwarfs the house. It's so showy that you can see it from around the corner. I could see it from Murray Hill, practically. 


Note also that they decided that renting a cherry picker was okay for one damn tree but put absolutely nothing on the house itself. There is no balance. It's like the only thing they care about is having the biggest damn tree around. It's like the Anna Nicole of trees, sloppy and hard to miss.

Caption The Housewife, Nightmare before Christmas Edition

Wow. When I saw this, I just had to post it. It seems more like something Tamra would do back in her trailer park days, or Kim Z after her breakfast Magnum of Chardonnay.

Look What I Found!

St. Louis has this awesome store called Lukas Liquors. I walked through the door, found an aisle that was wall-to-wall Zinfandel, and laid out my sleeping bag. Just as I was taking the wine key out of my bag, I looked up and what did I see? Why, 'tis Bethenny Frankel, staring down at me! I regret to inform you that nary a bottle was missing from the display. Sadly, being a skinny girl isn't high on the list of things to do around  here. Not that the people are fat, they are just more salt of the earth and less trendy. Plus, alcohol content higher than 7% might be nice too. Seriously, who drinks Margaritas with less alcohol than Christmas Ale? NOBODY. Well, except the McSlore pre-schoolers. We don't start them on the hard stuff until they can read and write. It's a law or something.

What are YOU drinking? 

This Old Queen Wants To Poop On Your Holiday

Did you know that there is a Festus, Missouri? Me neither. I'm not going anywhere near it.

Merry Effing Christmas

My neighbor got burgled, ugh. I wish that I could say that I was surprised. I sure hope they don't try that shit chez McSlore. I put acid buckets over all the doors and one of those knife throwing thingies from Raiders of the lost Ark is rigged up to the side door. Uh-oh. Nobody better come to read the meters. Hmm.


I'll be very sporadically blogging, as there is only very limited Wi-Fi here on the North Pole. Sowwy!

Office Party- Sober or Drunk?

Quite a conundrum for a gal like me.

Christmas Gift Ideas

Some of you people are so freaking hard to buy for. What do you give to the asshole that has everything, or the picky bitch with the insanely undeserved high standards. Why, you buy them funny crap! Here's where-
http://www.thinkgeek.com/
For me when I'm not drinking-

For junior-

We got the catalog in the mail today and Mr. McSlore is sitting on the couch snickering over it right now. If he thinks he can get away with giving me maple bacon flavored caffeinated lollipops instead of joorey HE IS OUT OF HIS MIND.


By the way, I picked some stuff out for you guys, after the jump. If you can't figure out what it is, just hover over the pic. It should say. Hope you like it! If not, you are an ungrateful child and you'll be lucky to get a shoe up your ass, compliments of moi.

Festive Oven Gloves by Sprockets

You can touch my monkey with them.

For The Girl Who Has Everything

Christmas is coming, sooner than you think, and you know I love my joorey!
Anyhoo, after a long weekend in Chicago, full of emotion and foodie heaven, I am back. I will be posting an Atlanta recap later today but it will be shorter than last week because I have to save up some snark for the Beverly Hills bitches. Besides, Atlanta is getting pretty predictable- confrontations, phony homes, break-down of marriages and terrible parenting. It's like the Truman Show of Divorcees at this point. By the way, did Sheree ever get that 7 figure settlement that she said was her due? Probably not. As for NeNe and Greg and their marital woes, she'll be lucky to get 7 cents and a drawing of a stick figure from young Bryson. Oh well, she's got a new nose!


Image from WOW Report. They find the greatest stuff over there.

Ralphie! You'll Wear That Every Time Your Aunt Comes To Visit, And Like It!

This is the cutest thing that I've found on the internet in a long time, courtesy of linus in hats.

Merry Christmas, I Wrapped Your Whole Apartment!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

You know that somebody had to be tweaking HARD to pull this kind of shit.

Bad, Drunk Santa

This is for Mr. McSlore who spent all day Thursday trying to find this movie, to no avail. It figures. We should have bought it years ago, really.
Leave it to the WOW report to dig up this gem. I love the midget. Everything is better with little people and Tony Cox's side eye is unmatched in any realm of popular culture.

Could This Kid Be Happier?

He was sick lot on his past birthdays with cancer etc. so his parents made this one extra special. Wow. Very sweet.

Merry Christmas everybody.

Merry Christmas From Cartman

Moon Ballet

I took these pictures from my rocket ship the other day. Sorry about the black and white. My ship isn't running like it used to. I need to take it to Midas.