Two Gay Shit People Say

Now let this be the end of it!

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Vilest One Of All?

Whose voice shrinks men's balls up into their body cavities? Who makes sweeping generalizations of all men, including gay ones? Who miraculously still has a job yet has never been successful at it? Who tells women to amp up the titties while dumbing themselves down, all for the right RICH guy, of course?


Why, it's Batty Canker, of course!

Thank you, thank you to the geniuses over at Vulture. Their NY magazine recaps and TV reporting are my favorites by far.

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Cowardly Lyin'

The housewives sure can throw a dinner party, can't they? They eat, chat and respect each other about as well as The Huns respected enemy women. Yes, I just compared the gals to rapist barbarians, and why not? They rape my ears and eyes with their stupidity every damn week!

Real Housewives of Miami Recap: You're Not Worthy

What do you do when you have one of the most popular reality franchises in cable history? Do you coddle it, care for it, do whatever is in your power to cherish and protect it? Why, no! You ruin it by hiring a bunch of morons who wouldn't get hired to act in a third tier Telenovella!

We have a rootin' tootin' gal from Texas who sounds like a cross between Little Edie and Christy Cummings, a CUTE basketball wife, a quartet of Latina Spitfires, correction: Spitsputterers, and one crazy old bitch that I could watch all day, only I'm afraid I'll go blind.

On to this abortion, something I know plenty about.