Congratulate Your Queen

Her name is Haruna Ai and she is a 37 year old transgendered person from Japan. The Miss Queen contest was held in Thailand which is so perfect since they are amazingly tolerant of all sexes there (and all sex if a friend of mine is to be believed).

Millions watched the pageant on television and girlfriend won $10,ooo, a years stay at a Pattaya hotel and a $500 surgery voucher. What will that cover, one ball?

She is pretty damn gorgeous, you have to admit. Makes me look like a damn cow. I'll be in front of the fridge if you need me.

Oooooo, Chrissy! That's Fabulous

Fall is slowly easing into Winter now that Halloween is over, and I hate it. I'm one of those people who lives for sunlight and hates the darkness. I'll start to get insomnia in about two months and begin haunting the heated tees in anticipation of better weather, all the while trying to pretend that I'm not getting crabbier and crabbier (and fucking fuck, the PMS excuse only works for a week each month).
What does any of this have to do with "Lipstick?' It reminds me of the late 80s and modeling in the fall and winter in freaking bathing suits, David Lachapelle making me stare into the sun over a grate on 6th Avenue. Those were the cold days where I was so insanely busy that I didn't even notice the weather. I need to get back to that. Anybody need a 40 something model to sell their golf clubs or hormone replacement therapy alternatives? I've already done a wrinkle filler ad, so it's no big stretch for me. FUCK! Getting older sucks.

Last Minute Costume Ideas

Best...Halloween...Costume...Evah

Which makes me a total nerd but shit! He actually transforms!

Every Party Needs Drunk Ewoks

The moonwalking is special and something tells me that this isn't Al's first time to the leg humping rodeo.

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So How Do You Really Feel, Arnold?

Mayer Hawthorne

White nerd does very good Motown impression. Next big thing?
It's very sweet.

Lust For Life by Girls

It's a stupid spangly guitar 90s-ish pop song with cock and titties thrown in.

http://thesword.com/index.php/videos/3192-girls-lust-for-life-the-hardcore-gay-edit.html

The Ed Hardy Boys

Two douchebag posts in a row. Woo hoo.
It's funny, though.
I'm curious. Does anyone that reads my blog wear that shit? Used to but doesn't anymore? Anybody? Anybody? Didn't think so.

The Ed Hardy Boyz: The Case of the Missing Sick Belt Buckle from Jon Daly

Upside-Down Weebil

What is the deal with this guy's body? He is super top heavy with wide swimmer shoulders and a tiny lower body hidden by a 95 pound coed. Dude needs to alter his weight lifting regimen. Maybe he's compensating for something? Awwww, sad.

Found at Hot Chicks With Douchebags

R.I.P. Shiloh, The Mermaid Girl

She was only 10. AND she was the only person I've ever seen on Oprah who was completely and utterly NOT in awe of her Oness. She was like, "Bitch, please," the whole time because of how Oprah talked down to her. So sad. We need people like her in this fucked up world.

The New Windrunner

Tokyo at night on one side, reversible to flat black. So urban chic. You know Kanye has 20 of them. And every God awful douchebag is going to try and get their hands on it. So what I'm trying to say is..... never mind and don't bother.

Lifebuoy Connoisseurs

The reddit question is- what is the most unexpected thing you heard from a child? I do not remember much of the stuff I said as a kid, mostly because the smack I got immediately afterwards would have stunted my memory a bit.
I do remember my ex telling me that when he was 2 years old his uncles coached him to say "Adios, Mutherfuckers!" to his grandparents as he was leaving their house with his parents. Yes, he got a beating.

An example from the comments:

When I was little, my mom was shopping with me in the cart. Well this other lady came up to us and said to me: "Aww! What a cute baby! What's your name little man?" To which I replied: "Damnit Danny!"

Here's the link, it is so worth it:
http://www.reddit.com/comments/9wnbx/whats_the_most_unexpected_thing_you_heard_from_a/

Best Tom Cruise Imitation Ever

Who is this actor? This is amazing.


Original video. He is so creepy.

LED Eyelashes, People!

People! LED eyelashes!!