Speaking of PeeWee..

Give This Girl her Own Show

Fuck Ted Williams, this girl is my new instant hero!

Whatchoo Readin' Fer?

One of my favorite Bill Hicks bits. NSFW.

I'm not a Beatles fan but I get the point.

I'm Special. Bob Said So

Dear Readers,
I won a super special award! A Spatula Blogger Award! Appropriate since I got whacked with one pretty regularly as a kid.Anyway, I got tagged by Bob from I'm Not laughing as being an enjoyably irreverant blogger, or something to that effect. There's a hitch, though. There always is, now isn't there? I have to tell you crap about myself that you don't know. Well, If I haven't told you, it's because it's none yo bidness, but I'm game. I'll play. Besides, as you all know, I find myself endlessly fascinating. 


Hmmm.
1. I like gay people way more than breeders. 
    Maybe it's because I live in Ohio, but I rarely meet any straight people that I think are worthy of my time. I like the way gay people think. I'm a snob when it comes to the intellectual/sense of humor/creativity of people. I know that sounds bad, but at least I'm a snob FOR THE GAYS. Also, it's no accident that every male friend of mine in high school, save two, turned out to be gay. I even bearded for one. I think that's a rite of passage for a gal like me.


2. I met Gina Lollabrigida and her boobs at an IFC awards thingymajigger.
 I am rarely tongue tied. I was that day. She was 50 and looked like a young Joan Collins. I almost got on my knees to worship her but she was with Richard Avedon and I didn't want him thinking that I was making fun of his height.


3. I have a five head. Always have, always will. Voila:

Look, Chemgal. I too, was a glowbaby!

4. I HATE those commercial with Sarah McLachlan and the abused pets that need to be adopted. It's like, 'Cry! Now give me your money!' HATE.


5. I have a bizarre crush on Eddie Izzard. I can't explain it. I don't even think he looks that good in drag. Oy.


6. My ancestor and Mr. McSlore's ancestor fought over the inclusion of slavery in the Declaration of Independence. Unfortunately, mine won.


7. My Grandfather played with Cab Calloway.


8. I share a birthday with Mother Teresa and PeeWee Herman. FUCKED UP.


9. I modeled Norma Kamali clothes on Attitudes. Remember that show? AWESOME Lifetime camp.


10. I abhor country music and folk rock and will go to my grave clutching Dio and Judas Priest albums.


Okay, now here's who I think deserve awards.


Bob from http://ishouldbelaughing.blogspot.com/. for his impeccable taste, clearly. Plus, he blogs religiously and the only thing we disagree about is Bethenny.
Karen from http://itinerantcook.blogspot.com/. She's smart, she can cook and she shares!
Billy from http://billybeyond.blog-city.com/. He also shares. This time it's music and his great photography.
Lady Bunny http://blog.ladybunny.net/ . Yes, she was around before electricity. Yes, she's a filthy old whore, BUT she's one of my oldest and mostest smartest friends.
Finally, Bidz. http://www.bidz.com/ Self explainatory.


Please share stuff about yourself in the comments. Preferably insane and embarrassing.

I Guess I've Written The Necronomicon

Can someone tell me why, in this day and age, anyone would think that there is something wrong with rubbing one out? It's the safest sex there is! You don't have to deal with someone else's needs, no one gets pregnant, you don't wake up with strange bumps or rashes and you never get rejected. Well, unless you're TDTF.

Days of Our Housewives

I was emailing a friend the other day and we got on the subject of the Housewives and how I am losing interest in the whole enterprise from a writing perspective. I have no problem gossiping about some of them, especially the ones that front. Their inevitable exposure for the broke phonies they are makes everything seem right in the world, in light of the fact that they shove their million dollar onyx and brass festooned houses of cards down our throats on a (twice!) weekly basis.


That's okay because they get theirs in the end, or is it? Is it okay AT ALL?


It's not. Here's why.

RHONY Season 4 Shitty Preview

Fist off, why is it taking so long for OC to air? They should be on before the hags in New York, no? I heard that things hadn't gone as planned and production is scurrying around with re-edits. Whatever. I am not looking forward to this part of the franchise, and why is Jill still around? 

This season starts airing the day after Valentines. 
What do you think? Has this part of the increasingly Soap Opera-like Real Housewives jumped the shark?

Saint Louis

I can be an airhead. I didn't realize until two weeks ago that the camera in my phone had a 'solarize' option. I discovered it by accident while I was trying to take a picture of Mr. McSlore's ass in the Ancient Art section of the St. Louis Art Museum. In lieu of showing you his ass, which may not be as fascinating to you as it is to me, I give you the towering statue of Saint Louis out front of the museum-

Here he is, in all his glory, un-solarized. He looks as though he would fit right in with ghost army from Return of the King.

The man depicted here which the city was named after, is King Louis IX of France. Not sure why they chose a dead guy from the 13th century but he makes for a pretty cool statue, and they do have a fair collection of armor in the museum. Nothing like the Met in New York, but who has that kind of funding?

This could do some serious damage to the Jehovahs that keep showing up on my doorstep-

I just love the staircases in and out of the exhibit. The ceiling is gorgeous too. I could live in there. Hey, speaking of which, do any of you remember a children's book about a girl and her little brother that spend the night in the Met? I can't recall the name..

Cleveland Is Beautiful

Because I love my adopted city so much, and because we get dumped on way more than is neccessary, I am going to do a lot more pro-Cleveland posts this year. I'm going to highlight the places I love, the art and beauty that surrounds us here in Northeastern Ohio, and basically hammer it down your throat, but tied in a pretty pretty ribbon. 


I took this on the way home from our Adventure In Antiquing.

And this is one of the many heroic statues representing local industry on the refurbished 30s designed Lorain-Carnegie Bridge.

Thank goodness they renovated instead of tearing it down, like they did with most of the mansions on Euclid Ave. Have you ever seen that great book lost New York? I bet they could print one for every city in the Untied States. We should at least try to document what we love while we can.

Ode To Chocolate

I hate most sweets. I'm the last to order dessert, and find myself continually making brownies and cheesecakes for parties, and tasting nary a sweet morsel. I'll eat it if someone else makes it, but only with the gun of politeness pressed firmly into my back. There is one exception, though. Chocolate. Dark and rich and as heavy as the Metal I put into the CD player on an almost daily basis. This is where we come to Lily, the store pictured above.


How do I describe it? Well, for one thing, they pair their homemade truffles with wine! I'm already there, obviously. Then they use crazy Marcel Vigneron stuff to it, without the douchey haircut. Here are some examples:

First up- Red Planet. Red wine black pepper reduction, dark chocolate.

              Hot Mama. Cayenne pepper, Sichuan peppercorn honey, dark chocolate.

              Boozie Suzie. Kirsch soaked french cherries, Kirsch ganach, dark chocolate.

              Red Head. Vintage port ganache, dried blueberries, dark chocolate.

              Mauie Wowie. Madagascar vanilla bean, Hawaiian black lava sea salt, white chocolate.

              Lime. Fresh lime juice, clover honey, white chocolate.

              Forty Winks (my favorite). Lavender bittersweet ganache, dark chocolate.

Order some, they are amazing. http://lillytremont.com/

An-Tweaking

As some of you know, we here chez McSlore are busy transforming one of the bland sun rooms into a Spanish/Moroccan bar/play area. To that end, we hopped into the Slore-mobile, yours truly a wee bit hopped up on caffeine, and trekked over to the Lorain Avenue Antique District (with a stop at Lily's Chocolates, natch). Here are some of our finds.


It starts out innocently enough with a lovely wrought iron hanging lamp that, sadly, was too big for the room.

Then a nice sideboard that was close in color of oakitude to what we wanted, but still not Moorish enough to be an inspiration-

Yes, these were taken NYE, and yes, that's me in the mirror. I didn't notice it until I downloaded the large version, and I turned up Blade Runner photo clicky style. Weird. And why do all these shops throw old Persian rugs under everything? It's just sloppy.

Movie Insult Mash-Up

Some of these are really bad, but some are great.

Kibble Crazy Corgi

Someone tell me why I love these spastic little fuckers.


Cuz you're an idiot.


You two.

More Chloe Seven-KNEE

It has recently come to my attention that I love Mainbocher paper dolls and mainlining Chanel no. 5 while reading the Tinsley Mortimer interview in Town & Country. In my Alexander McQueen bird poo splattered panties, of course.





Oh, shoot. I swear to God I wrote Tinsley Mortimer before I heard it in the video above. Just pretend I wrote Dianne Brill or something.


And whatever Mumblecore is, it's my new favorite filum genre.

Junk Food For Your Mind

So, I was on the phone with my friend K-Bird when she brought up the subject of trashy books, something that I had no idea that she enjoyed as much as i did! There is one particular Summer when I wasn't dating anyone special and I went through my weight in cheesy library-provided biographies, like that huge one on Marlene Deitrich (which I now own) and some juicy tome by Cybil Shepherd. So, time to fess up, what's your favorite trashy book?