It's great! The job of mocking conservative pundits does itself!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Must...Have...Thread
Okay boys and girls, I got a fabulous sewing machine from my fabulous boyfriend for Christmas. It is the best gift in the world if you don't count my pink Palomalu Steelers jersey. The only problem is that I have very little thread. Does anyone have a clue where I can get a bunch of it for a reasonable price? Any ailing grandmas out there who don't sew anymore because they can't see well enough to thread the needle? Wanna make a quick buck? Go visit Granny McAlzheimers and grab that sewing basket when she's not looking or she's trying to remember who the hell you are. And get the bobbins too while you're at it. Later, if she notices, just tell her that some aunt or cousin you hate took it. If you feel guilty, simply use some of the money to buy granny some of those red and white peppermint candies. Old ladies love those.
Thanks
Let's Play 'Tape the Kitty!'
This one is for Tobie, my new follower, yay! Remember when we taped Lucy's paws? That was freaking hilarious.
R.I.P. Lucy, you big fatty.
R.I.P. Lucy, you big fatty.
Wacky Packs are Back
I was reading my buddy Billy's blog (say that fast ten times) and came across his post about a new book that has come out. It's all about those goofy stickers we used to collect like trading cards back in the seventies. The artwork and humor were strictly Mad magazine style and I had a notebook covered with them. For some reason I kept getting the same cigarette one over and over and no one would trade me for something else. Little bastards.
Buy the book here!
Posh Finally Smiles
Must be because of all that arab money she's about to get for just showing up somewhere in Dubai, looking fabulous of course.
And yes, I am a fan of the fembot, when done properly. And Posh is the best at it. Plus, she is married to Minnie Mouse voiced David Beckham. Is there anything anyone can do about that? It's sad. You look at the guy and he is so cute and then he opens his mouth to speak and phhhhttttttttt.....instant panty buzz-kill.
Anyway, take a good look at the picture above because she probably wont have another go at smiling until Halley's Comet swings around again.
Sidney Crosby is Frustrated
You would be too if your team had key injuries and a line that keeps changing and you can't win to save your life despite having the top two players in the league in individual points. You do the only thing you can. You beat the crap out of somebody.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Now I've Got the Munchies
Thanks, Steven Dorff.
Here is the Blade star enjoying a toke in St. Barts yesterday. Must be rough.
Sam Shepard Arrested for DUI
TMZ is reporting that the playwrite/actor was pulled over for speeding in Normal, Illinois and blew a 0.175. That's a lot of whiskey, folks. And boy, does it show. At least we know that he is not a plastic surgery junkie. That is all-natural beauty right there. No doubt about it.
Okay, I'll give the guy a break. He is 65 after all.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Jett Travolta Dies
There have been quite a few deaths during the holiday season, most of them older like Eartha Kitt. You don't expect a kid to die of a seizure and hit his head on a tub. That sucks. Sadness for the Travolta family. R.I.P.
I don't know all the details and don't want to speculate but correct me if I'm wrong. Don't Scientologists ignore modern medicine the same way that Christian Scientists do? If they knew there was a medical issue with their son and did nothing, then aren't they to blame for doing nothing to help him and possibly prevent this? It would be such a shame to have a child with health issues and do nothing about it. I hope that I'm wrong.
Red Wings Beat Blackawks 6-3
The best thing about this game was that it was high scoring and I watched it in HD. Last years was better on so many levels, more snow, a spectacular ending, the death defying blizzard we drove through on the way home, and there were Blackhawk helicopters insted of F-18s for the fly-over.
And the Penguins lost, AGAIN!
And the Penguins lost, AGAIN!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
What a Releif
Time Warner Cable and Viacom came to an eleventh hour agreement on a rate increase so now we can all keep enjoying our Comedy Central, MTV, VH1, Nickolodian, etc. Too bad that Time Warner didn't just drop the "music" channels. It's all reality tv except for the AC/DC concert I caught on VH1 Classic months ago. I haven't seen a music video on my television since Bill Clinton was president and our economy was healthy. It's all about the Youtube, baby.
You So Funny, Charlie
If you haven't already heard, Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI last night. That's not what's funny. We all know that drinking and driving is bad, he could have killed somebody, he should have gotten a cab, blah blah blah. The funny part is that he was pulled over after partying with Urkel (Jaleel White) and told the officer that he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get oral sex from some chick (he's married) who gave him the best BJ of his life. So, they take him down to the station where he tells the officer that he'll tattoo his name on their ass if they let him go. He then giggle and changes the offer to tattooing their name on his ass.
Wow. Happy New Year, Mrs. Barkley. You must be so proud.
Do You Kiss Your Mom with that Mouth?
Kathy Griffin doesn't disappoint. Here she is using the D word on CNN last night.
Start Your New Year With Ovechkin
Alexander Ovechkin had an amazing goal against the Sabres on Monday and here it is.
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